awouldbehipster's practice notes (part two)

"(continued from above)

His fourth description of selflessness is where things start to get really interesting. It is the experience of resting in Zero while feel, image, and talk are allowed to arise and fully express the human personality. Describing such a Zero, from which things arise and to which things return, is closest to Third Turning, or Buddha Nature, Buddhism. For, Zero is who we really are while simultaneously being no one.

I think it's great that he can explain this so clearly, and in under five minutes. He seems to have seamlessly integrated the Three Turnings of Buddhism without making reference to any of them. I'm impressed.

So, what did you think of the video?

~Jackson"

Eureka! This is the first time I've heard anyone outside of the small Vajrayana lineage I've studied refer to 'empty personality', or 'personality display'; thanks for the link, Jackson, and for your excellent precis.
This is such an important point-- aside from the bizarre vacuity that results from trying to assert that the enlightened one is some kind of selfless nonentity, an honest practitioner winds up at an impasse trying to articulate what is different after seeing through the 'self' construct. The traditional formulations mostly seem like puzzlingly bad translations from a worldview that few of us can fathom. Or maybe it's just me left scratching my head, feeling as if there's something to what's being said-- but I have no idea what it is! (If I had 5 bucks for every time I ground my teeth over the circumlocutions I've seen/heard about someone's 'no longer existing' because of realization-- I'd be able to buy a set of dentures to replace those teeth!)

"(If I had 5 bucks for every time I ground my teeth over the circumlocutions I've seen/heard about someone's 'no longer existing' because of realization-- I'd be able to buy a set of dentures to replace those teeth!)"

LOL

Finding Your Buffalo, by Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche...

"No matter how much you may admire and long for the happiness and freedom of mind you perceive in someone else, whether it's a great spiritual master, a bestselling self-help guru, or a true, modern-day hero or heroine, finding your own wakefulness, your own enlightenment within, is much different. It is like finding your own buffalo. Your buffalo recognizes you and you recognize your buffalo. The moment you meet your own buffalo is a very emotional and joyful moment."

Read the rest --> www.buddhistgeeks.com/2010/04/finding-your-buffalo/

Based on some meaningful conversations with dharma friends, both public and private, I've allowed my practice to take on more of a non-conceptual and expressive tone, as opposed to conceptual and seeking. It's a difficult habit to break, but the process is allowing my practice to unfold in ways that it never has.

I'm getting to a place where becoming more confident in non-doing. There's still some anxiety that tries to convince me that by not actively seeking, I'll miss out on something special, something that has yet to be uncovered in my experience. But my greater intuition, or spiritual compass, is showing me that the thing that obscures my natural wakefulness is the overbearing activity of the self-contraction. The illusory small-self wants to "do" or "achieve" awakening, so it can where it as a medal and show it off to others. But it isn't the small-self that wakes up. So express, relax, stay present. Recognize the clarity that is there when there's no activity obscuring it. And this isn't just wishful thinking, or even magical thinking. It is also very practical for me at this point, as the depth of realization/recognition is greater the more I learn to let go.

This is what has been beneficial for my practice, but I'm not suggesting that everyone should take this approach. Allow wisdom (prajna) to point you in the right direction. Wisdom arises when we are mindful. So, whatever you do, stay mindful, pay attention.

... of course, as soon as I write about how effective "doing nothing" has been for me in practice, I have a practice experience where simple noting was more effective. The appropriate practice really depends on what is happening in the present moment. Consider this to be yet another glowing endorsement for the efficacy and profundity of the Three Speeds*.

* kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/The+...e+Speed+Transmission

"Based on some meaningful conversations with dharma friends, both public and private, I've allowed my practice to take on more of a non-conceptual and expressive tone, as opposed to conceptual and seeking. It's a difficult habit to break, but the process is allowing my practice to unfold in ways that it never has."

Good god almighty, Jackson, I hear you and want to double down! I couldn't sleep last night mulling this very thing over. It becomes clear after much wrestling that all you/me/it has to do is stop. Just... effing... STOP. Just be. Be! It's all about being, not doing, not wishing, hoping, spinning, seeking, investigating or altering. This is not a "do" time, this is a "be" time.

I feel this in my bones.

Nice articulation. I appreciate your conundrum

""Based on some meaningful conversations with dharma friends, both public and private, I've allowed my practice to take on more of a non-conceptual and expressive tone, as opposed to conceptual and seeking. It's a difficult habit to break, but the process is allowing my practice to unfold in ways that it never has."

Good god almighty, Jackson, I hear you and want to double down! I couldn't sleep last night mulling this very thing over. It becomes clear after much wrestling that all you/me/it has to do is stop. Just... effing... STOP. Just be. Be! It's all about being, not doing, not wishing, hoping, spinning, seeking, investigating or altering. This is not a "do" time, this is a "be" time.

I feel this in my bones.

Nice articulation. I appreciate your conundrum "

Yeah, that's the idea!

It seems to me that any practice we do is a means to bringing us back to being. If we can just be, great. If we are having trouble staying present, the 1st gear and 2nd gear practices are good at bringing us back. We have to know when to note and when to stop noting; when to inquire and when to stop inquiring; when to practicing "not-doing" and when to recognize when "not-doing" isn't what is needed in the moment.

In other words, I'm all about the algorithmic approach to insight practice.

~Jackson

Don't know much about calculus; don't know any trigonometry;
don't think I could lay down an algo-rhythm even if my life depends on'm--
but I do know that you're right, you two-- it's a great joy to be, not do.
What a wonderful world this can be!

[with apologies to the song I've mangled to my purpose...]

That's Kipling, right?

I don't know if it's all the "noting" talk going on here lately or whatever else, but I've been doing a lot of Mahasi style vipassana lately. I've also been practicing jhana, focusing on going deeper into each state in order to get to know them better.

One of the benefits of the Theravada or Hinayana style of practice is that it really keeps me engaged. I have ADD, so if I'm not careful it's easy to space out or get carried away with subtle level manifestations (sort of like lucid dreaming while awake). Both noting practice and jhana practice help me to remove some of those distractions. Noting leads to khanika samadhi (momentary one-pointedness), and samatha leads to absorption; neither of which could be described as "spacing out."

For whatever reason, it has been difficult for me to simply rest as wakefulness lately. It could be due to stress, since I'm in the process of trying to buy a home, which involves so much more than I ever realized. In order to practice well at this turbulent time in my life, I've found it more effective to kick it old school, and stick with samatha and vipassana. Having a calm, steady mind during this home buying process is preferable to my usual "scatter-brain" state of mind.

Lately, my intuition has been telling me (so to speak) that it would be of great benefit to my practice to develop a greater mastery of the samatha jhanas. So, that's what I've been doing. And honestly, it's been really quite rewarding.

In some ways, the way I've been practicing feels like step backward. But in other ways, it's been more like revisiting and refining fundamentals in preparation for more advanced training - sort of like a semi-pro basketball player spending a lot of time of free throws and layups (sorry if that's a bad sports analogy. I'm not a very sporty guy). So, I'm working on deepening my experience of jhanas, in order to attain a degree of absorption that I have yet to get the hang of. So far so good. Hopefully, my enhanced concentration abilities will deepen my practice all the more.

On a technical (i.e. geeky) note, it's been interesting to pay attention to things like the 'learning sign' and the 'counterpart sign' as they arise, prior to absorption. From what I understand, these phenomena appear in different ways for different people, and vary depending on the object of concentration. I've been focusing on the breath at the anapana spot, which is both very traditional and practical. Ain't nothin' wrong with stayin' with the breath.

If anyone is interested in investigating jhana in this way, Bhante Gunaratana has written some fabulous little primers. One of my favorites is "The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation," which is available online at Access to Insight...

www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/gunaratana/wheel351.html

Practice well!
~Jackson

Sounds like a good program Jackson!

Focusing on the breath at the anapana spot seems to be the best and easiest method. It seems also that, even for hard jhanas, one doesn't necessarily need to switch to the light nimitta (chasing those lights can be the worst distraction). From my limited experience, but I will let experts like Kenneth correct me if I am wrong, the main criteria is to feel a kind of pull, as if the jhana was trying to suck our attention into a powerful altered state of consciousness.

It seems also that jhana practice can be seen as a form of vipassana. Rising from the first to the fourth jhana is basically a matter of striping down the first jhana from its factors, observing the three characteristics of each jhana factor in a specific order. Having dropped vichara, vitakka, piti and sukha, our mystical Lady stands naked in the Fourth Jhana.

The first three tetrads of the Anapansati Sutta are basically that: attending to the breath, rising up through the 4 rupa jhanas while alternating concentration and investigation, before switching to pure vipassana at the stage of equanimity (last tetrad).

I arrived at work early this morning, so I decided to practice jhana in an empty conference room for 40 minutes or so. It actually took me a while to steady my mind, as my mind is not usually all that sharp first thing in the morning. But my mind was eventually able to rest on the object (the breath, at the anapana spot). It's interesting what happens next. When I first start out, I only feel the breath at the anapana spot (just outside and below the nostrils) as breath moves in and out. But once the mind is able to remain somewhat one-pointed on that spot, the mind creates a replica of the sensation that remains present even when the breath is not moving in and out. So, there is a constant presence at which the mind may rest its attention. Later on, as concentration strengthens, the replica becomes more pronounced, even brighter, as if evolving into something greater. It's like Bruce Banner transfiguring into the Hulk.

And it's the new and improved replica that the mind really starts to become absorbed into. It gets closer, and begins to expand, and then my consciousness merges with it and I am transported into what feels like another realm entirely. This is what I've come to know as first jhana; not just as a stratum of mind, but as a state of absorption. What's interesting is that the traditional jhana characteristics really do arise: applied attention, sustained attention, rapture, happiness, and one-pointedness/equanimity (more on this later'¦). Unfortunately, after 5 minutes or so of absorption, someone noisily open the door to the dark conference room I was practicing and startled me (as I'm sure he was startled to find me sitting in the dark). He said, "Oh, sorry." I said, "It's alright," and he left and closed the door behind him.

(continued below)

(continued from above)

I checked the clock on my cell phone and saw that I had ten more minutes before having to go back to work. This time, I just resolved to drop straight into first jhana and to remain in jhana until I had to go back to work. I quickly went into first jhana, where I thought I would stay. At first, all five jhana factors were present (as listed above). But then, without any prompting, applied attention and sustained attention dropped, and second jhana arose - just like that. I just decided to go with it. The factors of rapture (felt in the body), happiness, and one-pointedness were all present. A couple minutes later, again without any prompting, rapture left the scene and third jhana arose. Only happiness and one-pointedness remained. Not long after, even subtle happiness walked resigned, and I sat perfectly still in equanimous one-pointedness. I'm not sure how long I was in fourth jhana, but it must have only been a couple of minutes.

All of the sudden, happiness returned, then rapture, then applied and sustained attention. I came out of jhana into access concentration, and then back to regular waking consciousness. I thought, "that was weird," as it was completely unintentional. I checked my cell phone clock, and it was 8:24 AM - exactly one minute before I had to head back to my office to start up my computer. It's amazing how well setting a resolution (Pali: adhitthana) works. The unconscious mind seems to keep track of time for me. Amazing.

So, that was my daily jhana adventure. Good times.

"Focusing on the breath at the anapana spot seems to be the best and easiest method. It seems also that, even for hard jhanas, one doesn't necessarily need to switch to the light nimitta (chasing those lights can be the worst distraction). From my limited experience, but I will let experts like Kenneth correct me if I am wrong, the main criteria is to feel a kind of pull, as if the jhana was trying to suck our attention into a powerful altered state of consciousness."

Hi Alex,

Thanks for the insightful comment. Nimittas ('signs' or 'replicas') are an interesting phenomenon, as I know that they don't appear to everyone in the same way, and even vary by the object used for concentration. When focusing on the anapana spot, the nimittas ('learning sign' and 'counterpart sign' appear more as a presence than an object of light. Though, with the arising of the counterpart sign, the visual field does become much brighter. The only time I get an object of light as a nimitta is when I use consciousness as the object. A small, bright orb of changing colors will arise and then fade off into the distance... unless I grab on to it. If I hold it with my attention, it grows in size and intensity, and I am soon after transported into first jhana. Interesting, eh?

But I agree that one need not pay much attention to nimittas in order to attain jhana. Staying with the meditation object, especially the breath at the anapana spot, seems to be sufficient. One must be receptive enough to give into the pull of the jhana, as there is often a sense of being pulled into another space or place.

"It seems also that jhana practice can be seen as a form of vipassana. Rising from the first to the fourth jhana is basically a matter of striping down the first jhana from its factors, observing the three characteristics of each jhana factor in a specific order. Having dropped vichara, vitakka, piti and sukha, our mystical Lady stands naked in the Fourth Jhana.

The first three tetrads of the Anapansati Sutta are basically that: attending to the breath, rising up through the 4 rupa jhanas while alternating concentration and investigation, before switching to pure vipassana at the stage of equanimity (last tetrad)."

Alex, I'm with you here. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and I'm leaning toward the opinion that samatha and vipassana, though distinguishable in a sense, are not totally divergent paths. There is some vipassana involved in jhana practice, as jhana factors drop away to reveal a more refined state of consciousness. And, there is samatha involved in vipassana practice; not only as a way to access strata of mind prior to seeing their characteristics, but also as a way of stabilizing absorption in the unconditioned (i.e. fruition), which I am not yet proficient at. There's definitely a link between one's absorption abilities and their ability to sustain absorption in fruition for an extended duration (e.g. longer than just a 'blip').

It sort of blows my mind that we, as lay practitioners, are able to have such high level dharma conversations based on actual experience. This ain't your hippie uncle's Buddhist practice. This stuff is for real

"but also as a way of stabilizing absorption in the unconditioned (i.e. fruition), which I am not yet proficient at. There's definitely a link between one's absorption abilities and their ability to sustain absorption in fruition for an extended duration (e.g. longer than just a 'blip').

It sort of blows my mind that we, as lay practitioners, are able to have such high level dharma conversations based on actual experience. This ain't your hippie uncle's Buddhist practice. This stuff is for real "

How are you doing that, Jackson? I mean attempting to stabilize the absorbtion in fruition. Are you talking about nirodha samaptti or is it absorbtion in phala samapatti?

I have been trying myself but to no avail. I make the resolution and then start noting, or let myself dwell in one of the jhanas, generally the 4th. I try and forget about the resolution and just let it happen. Generally my resolution is for a short amount of time. 10 seconds. But as far as I remember, it never lasts more than a fraction of a second. How long can you stay in it?

"It sort of blows my mind that we, as lay practitioners, are able to have such high level dharma conversations based on actual experience. This ain't your hippie uncle's Buddhist practice. This stuff is for real "

Jackson, I believe that you, others on this site, and random practitioners all over the place are really getting into what would objectively be seen as highly advanced levels of practice.
You are doing it while working regular jobs, being in relationships, participating in normal cutural activities (TV, movies, novels, internet, non-spiritual social events, politics and on and on) while raising children, while accumulating material possessions, while in many cases indulging in alcohol and/or drugs to one degree or another, while of course having regular sex lives (or irregular in some cases I'm sure) and while NOT taking vows, or bowing to a master, or participating in rituals etc.

The strong anti-authoritarian in me loves this. Mainstream and/or monastic dharma/yoga cultures with its tight control over the behavior and culture and expectations (especially) of the adherents doesn't think you exist.

"How are you doing that, Jackson? I mean attempting to stabilize the absorbtion in fruition. re you talking about nirodha samaptti or is it absorbtion in phala samapatti?

I have been trying myself but to no avail. I make the resolution and then start noting, or let myself dwell in one of the jhanas, generally the 4th. How long can you stay in it?"

Oh, I can't stay in it longer than a seconds at a time at this point. I've been conducting an experiment with some yogi friends regarding fruition absorption. Some can remain in fruition absorption for many minutes, other just seconds, others can't sustain it at all. I think it has everything to do with one's strength of absorption, which is partially when I've been so interested in strengthening my samatha muscles lately. It's a part of my experiment

And no, I don't mean Nirodha Samapatti. I mean attaining fruition and remaining absorbed in it for extended durations. I'm not good at it, yet, but I'm working on it.

Regarding the above, I should also mention the following...

- I may resolve to remain absorbed in fruition for, say, one minute.
- Fruition occurs, I remain absorbed for however long my mind is capable (just a few seconds, maybe).
- But then, I come out of absorption into a deep, dark, restful samadhi state, rather than proceeding to the usual post-fruition afterglow.
- I remain in this deep samadhi for the duration I predetermined to remain in fruition.
- Then, the afterglow hits, and the cycle repeats itself.

This has lead me to believe that fruition absorption works in the same way that jhanas work. One may access jhanas in a proximate way, without becoming fully absorbed. In the same way, I think this post-fruition samadhi space is perhaps a kind of "proximate-nibbana", as it is close to nibbana, and retains some of its characteristics, but is not full nibbana absorption. Does that make sense?

This is all just a hypothesis at this point, as I haven't ever heard anyone explain it in this way. Perhaps this will be one of my unique contributions to Western dharma. Perhaps someone has already figured it out, and I'm just riding their coat-tails. Who knows? Whatever the case, I'm almost certain that one's absorption abilities makes all the difference in whether or not they can sustain the fruition moment for an extended duration.

"Oh, I can't stay in it longer than a seconds at a time at this point. I've been conducting an experiment with some yogi friends regarding fruition absorption. Some can remain in fruition absorption for many minutes, other just seconds, others can't sustain it at all. I think it has everything to do with one's strength of absorption, which is partially when I've been so interested in strengthening my samatha muscles lately. It's a part of my experiment

And no, I don't mean Nirodha Samapatti. I mean attaining fruition and remaining absorbed in it for extended durations. I'm not good at it, yet, but I'm working on it."

Edited to inlcude, I just checked you second reply. You answered my question. Thanks!

Interesting. I've been considering why I would not be able to either. So that's why you are going to master the jhanas some more? Hmmm, I think, I would like to include myself in the experiment. What is your regimen? How will you do that exactly? Just dwelling in each jhana for some time to go as deep as possible? I certainly have gone deep in the first 8. But I feel that I never got to the depths. How are you doing it exactly?

And how did Kenneth cultivate the ability to get absorbed in fruition?

"
- I may resolve to remain absorbed in fruition for, say, one minute.
- Fruition occurs, I remain absorbed for however long my mind is capable (just a few seconds, maybe).
- But then, I come out of absorption into a deep, dark, restful samadhi state, rather than proceeding to the usual post-fruition afterglow.
- I remain in this deep samadhi for the duration I predetermined to remain in fruition.
- Then, the afterglow hits, and the cycle repeats itself.
"

Actually , on rereading your post, This is what happens to me to. Say I make the resolution to stay in the fruition/cessation for 10 seconds, it will last a fraction of a second, but the mind seems to stay stuck in the post-fruition state much longer. In fact when i do this it reminds me a little of how I feel in that weird mental absorption we discussed awhile ago where I will the mind into a the buildup of pre-fruition vibrations at the crown, and you at the naval as you said. it gets stronger when a fruition occurs. It's like the mind wants to dwell in it but does all it can to stay as close to the fruition as possible before the resolution time is up.,

The experiment is simple. Start out doing some good samatha practice, taking your time and working up to at least the 4th jhana. Then, if you can resolve to get fruition from there, do so. Otherwise, come back out of jhana and pass through the ñanas, up into Equanimity, and then make your resolution. Resolve to stay absorbed in fruition for a set time (any time will do). Then, allow it to happen, and when the time period is over make note of what occurred. That easy.

As far as building stronger jhana skills is concerned, I've been sticking to very traditional instructions. I'm resolving to spend time in a specific jhana, becoming more and more absorbed, in order to really experience a stable, long lasting intentional absorption. My hypothesis is that doing so will give me greater abilities to intentionally remain absorbed in fruition. It makes sense to me rationally, but I have to put it into practice to see if it's true.

So that's the second part of the experiment. Does increased concentration abilities result in aiding one's ability to remain absorbed in fruition? I guess we'll find out. It could take a while, since developing real jhana mastery can't be that easy.

Feel free to give it a shot, and let me know what you find out.

~Jackson

"Actually , on rereading your post, This is what happens to me to. Say I make the resolution to stay in the fruition/cessation for 10 seconds, it will last a fraction of a second, but the mind seems to stay stuck in the post-fruition state much longer. In fact when i do this it reminds me a little of how I feel in that weird mental absorption we discussed awhile ago where I will the mind into a the buildup of pre-fruition vibrations at the crown, and you at the naval as you said. it gets stronger when a fruition occurs. It's like the mind wants to dwell in it but does all it can to stay as close to the fruition as possible before the resolution time is up.,"

That's right. Though, for me this space isn't really "post-fruition" as usual. As for me, the regular post-fruition experience is a warm afterglow. This near-nibbana state is quite distinguishable from that. But I think we're tracking here, right? Awesome!

It's interesting to hear that your near-nibbana samadhi lasts for the duration or your resolution as well. I think that's going to be a key to any theory that develops out of this experiment.

"And no, I don't mean Nirodha Samapatti. I mean attaining fruition and remaining absorbed in it for extended durations. I'm not good at it, yet, but I'm working on it."

Just curious, what is your motivation for working on this?