Marc's practice notes

I'm sitting once or twice every day these days. I generally end up in a relaxed and equanimous state (probably low equanimity), and then I try to focus on the vibrations at my third eye. In our last two sessions, Ron guided me to equanimity: it's really amazing how clear and fast it goes when he talks me through. He advised me to gently keep my attention on the vibrating third eye area when I'm in equanimity, so that's what I'm doing. Still zoning out a lot though; maybe I should keep my attention wider first, until equanimity deepens?

Marc, it's a gentle balance. I remember that feeling a lot during EQ too. I used the same technique at the time as well. What I found useful is to really be gentle with the attention there like Ron says. If you put too much effort into your focus on that vibrating 3rd eye, you will shift back down to Low EQ and get spacey. However, if you keep a nice, light grasp on that 'object' and also be inclusive of other sensations, the vibrations increase and you remain in Higher EQ.

I think you are just getting to High EQ and focusing your attention a bit too tightly and shifting back down to Low EQ. Make sense?

Hey Marc, Thanks for reporting. I just talked to Ron last night about this phenomena and how to approach it. I have been playing with it for a couple months and find this to be very tricky. Looking forward to hearing about your progress. Russell, I find your suggestions helpful as well. I am just starting to understand how I move up and down and can now identify the territory a little more.Thank you

Thanks for your advice, Russell. That definitely makes sense, although it doesn't feel like I'm reaching high equanimity again. It's a pretty tricky balance, sometimes it feels like I'm really riding a wave, and other times it feels like I go from too tight to too wide.

Since my last post I've been keeping on meditating daily, one or two sits a day. Now more 1.5 hour sits. In each sit I start with counting the breath, and then I start noting.
This morning I meditated for 2 hours. After counting my breath (not very concentrated) I switched to noting. The next 50 minutes or so there were a lot of discursive thoughts, confusion, irritation, restlessness, etc. Then I noticed more calmness and space, and after a little while there was a little bit of pressure at my third eye, which felt subtly vibratory. I kept my attention on this, as I kept noting silently, mostly mind states, such as investigation, anticipation, doubt, questioning, peace, joy, wondering, surrender, waiting.

This morning I meditated for 1.5 hours. As usual, I started with about 15 minutes of counting my breath, then switched to noting (whispering). I'm not sure what exactly happened then, I do know there was a lot of confusion and boredom. The last 45 minutes of the sit were more calm and there was more acceptance. There was some pressure around my third eye, which became more vibratory as I kept my attention on it. It was difficult for me to keep my attention wide/panoramic. The vibrating feeling around my third eye disappeared now and then, and I would notice thoughts about how my experience should be (but I found it hard to disembed from these thoughts).

Sounds good Marc, just keep noticing/noting those thoughts. No need to try to do anything with them.

Thanks for the advice, Russell. The thoughts are just things that arise and pass, just like all thr other stuff. There's no need to give them extra importance.

I just meditated for 60 minutes. I started noting out loud, and after about 10 minutes I noticed some tingling in my arms. After a few minutes there was a heavy feeling in my stomach, some fear, and planningthoughts. The pressure in my stomach moved a bit up, butnow felt even heavier. Some regrets, shame, doubt. Then pressure around my heart, lighter but unpleasant, and I felt a bit nauseous and somewhat choked. After a while more chaos, crawling feeling on my skin, fear, irritation, aversion. Then gradually I noticed more calm and acceptance, my mind became more still. I did notice a lot of thoughts about progress, some doubt, investigation, wanting to manipulate my experience, waiting. Now and then I noticed vibrations, but they didn't intensify. There was some disappointment, but also an accepting feeling. It felt okay just sitting.

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Everything's still pretty much the same, perhaps a bit more boredom and spacing out towards the end of my sits. The last 3 weeks we were camping in France, and although I did meditate daily, it felt less consistent. Sunday I hitchhiked back, and I didn't meditate, and monday I also skipped.

Yesterday in my afternoon sit, I ended up in a very clear and calm state, and my thoughts were very clearly just emerging on their own, without any control of me.

Yesterday I meditated twice. In the morning (90 minutes): pretty sleepy and spacy.

In the afternoon I meditated for 2 hours and 45 minutes (changing my position a few times): I went up to my cutting edge very quickly and then there were vibrations all over the place, especially around my third eye. I kept my attention on my third eye while still noticing other thoughts and sensations. It all felt very clear, spacious and equanimous, and it seemed like I could keep on meditating for hours.

This morning I sat for 60 minutes, probably ended up in low equanimity, with some mild vibrations and lots of thoughts about progress and technique.

I just meditated for 90 minutes. After concentrating on my breath for about 15 minutes I switched to noting and got into a very comfortable position. Eventually got to a clear and very open and accepting state, were most thoughts were just noticed and let go of. There was a vibrating spot around my third eye, which became the center of my attention. I think after that I fell asleep for about 10 minutes, and I noted a bit until the timer went off. Right now I'm feeling very buzzy and relaxed...