Russell's practice thread

Thoughts are dominating and distracting. Just trying to note them and not get distracted. Still unsure of where I am, I got what feels like close to A&P late in my sit. Saw lights and rising energy but nothing major like Kundalini up the spine or anything. What I noticed first is my vision with my eyes closed started to break up and buzz then lights, then rising pleasure. It faded fairly quickly, but it's a start, I think.

Very confused whether I am reviewing or on a new path. Hard to tell but no DN stuff seems to be creeping in other than off-cushion. However, my motivation to sit it continuing to come back. Tried to make a point to note really well last night. It was better than pervious sits, less getting caught up in thoughts. I feel like a beginner again sometimes.

Saturday I did not get much paractice in but I still did. I resolved to never miss a day this year unless there were extreme circumstances. so I am still holding strong. Last night I sat twice for close to an hour total. I still have a hard time telling where I am but I feel like I may be a little further than I think for some reason. The reson I say is because I keep feeling like I cycle up through 3C's to A&P (although not super strong) I get bright lights and body flushing warmth and things buzz and vibrate a bit, then it calms down. Felt like cycled up to that 2 times then started getting some strong fear thoughts. So much so that I felt like I needed to open my eyes to make sure no one was creeping arounf in the room to get me. I never get that in meditation, so hopefully I am getting into DN territory. Sounds, funny, but I welcome it at this point.

So weird. This post-path stuff is confusing. Had 2 sits yesterday both felt like I was in Equanimity the whole time sans any vibration type stuff at the 3rd eye. Lots of gentle vibrations in the hand, like where they feel like they disappear and the sits were very calming and equanimous. No idea if I am still reviewing on moved on and its progressing rapidly.

2 sits again yesterday, both felt like I ramped up to EQ again, pressure at 3rd eye area, hands vibrating, almost disappearing. Super spacious and accepting. However, towards the end of the last sit I got trapped in some thoughts, then felt like I shifted to Re-observation a little bit with random itches all over the place. So the question of the day is, is my cutting edge EQ of 2nd path or am I still in Review Phase B. Who knows?

Edit: Forgot to mention daily headaches. Not sure if they have to do with meditation or not.

Really starting to think I am shifting from Low EQ to High EQ now. These sits remind me exactly what it was like when I was in EQ during 1st path. It feels really nice to get into that groove and just sit in deep concentration with things buzzing about. A little more 2nd gear style watching started happening on its own last night as well. Still having headaches.

Hands tingling minutes after I sit. Very strong pressure and tingling in 3rd eye area. More of the same, boring and wonderful at the same time.

Had a very late night sit after a long, tiring day. Had lots of distracting thoughts but still got very relaxed and equanimous, however, no major vibrations in the 3rd eye. This all feels very familiar to the few weeks leading up to SE.

Edit: forgot to mention I had bouts of major vertigo/dizziness early in the sit. Had not had that in a long time. Very odd. Had to open my eyes a couple times to make sure I wasn't really spinning.

50 min yesterday. Headaches continue on and off. Heavy head feeling. Lots of thoughts distracting me while i sit, I remember this happing later in 1st path as well. I have to do that "What will my next thought be?" trick. Seems to help. Mass tingling, strobing. Need to sit even more I feel like, but motivation still isn't has high as it was during the last round through this.

I feel like I am repeating myself at this point, still feels like EQ, but thoughts are really sneaking up on me. So when the thoughts start coming in full force during EQ I try to really pay attention and catch what is going on. Had some good insights into thoughts as suffering. Similar to the insights I had before 1st path, but those were more thoughts as not mine insights it seemed. This was a combo, I was realizing, once again that thoughts were just happening on their own, "I" was not generating them but this time I also realized that all they do is cause suffering.

Did not get to sit much yesterday, but I did get to have dinner with Vince Horn last night as he is in town for SXSW Festival. That was really cool to meet another geek like me, but I feel like such a newbie in all of this. Anyways, if it wasn't for Vince and buddistgeeks I would have never found this place, so I thank him immensly for that.

"Did not get to sit much yesterday, but I did get to have dinner with Vince Horn last night as he is in town for SXSW Festival. That was really cool to meet another geek like me, but I feel like such a newbie in all of this. Anyways, if it wasn't for Vince and buddistgeeks I would have never found this place, so I thank him immensly for that."

Hey Russell I like to remind myself that everyone starts off as a newbie. Just think one day you will be able to help a newbie out with all of the experience you gained on the path. Yeah I love Buddhist Geeks and if I hadn't heard Vince's interview with Daniel Ingram I would have never learned about Pragmatic / Hardcore Dharma so much props to Vince and Buddhist Geeks!

" Yeah I love Buddhist Geeks and if I hadn't heard Vince's interview with Daniel Ingram I would have never learned about Pragmatic / Hardcore Dharma so much props to Vince and Buddhist Geeks! "

Chalk up another one for those early Daniel Ingram interviews! I went from Gil Frondsahl to Daniel Ingram and wow! what a culture shock. It seems like quite a coincidence to me that I managed to pick a Daniel Ingram interview as the first BG podcast I heard.

Here's to "getting it done"!

Yeah it's crazy. A year ago I found myself reading Tibetan Buddhist books and not understanding that you can really get this stuff done, then several months later finding MCTB through Buddist Geeks, then finding this site and Ron, getting stream entry and then actually sitting down with Vince at dinner. All in less than a year. Full circle. Very cool.

"Yeah it's crazy. A year ago I found myself reading Tibetan Buddhist books and not understanding that you can really get this stuff done, then several months later finding MCTB through Buddist Geeks, then finding this site and Ron, getting stream entry and then actually sitting down with Vince at dinner. All in less than a year. Full circle. Very cool."

Awesome. Reading this I felt mudita arise in me.

Last nights sit felt really good, didn't want to get up but life came calling. Got to where everything was vibrations after some fighting with thoughts. Got some very interesting rising absorbtions like 4th jhana when I focused on the tingling of my temples around the crown of my head. almost felt like most of my body dissapeared. Can still feel some of the pressure and tingling in the temple area today.

Things continute to increase in intensity as far as the vibratory aspect is concerned. I have been getting to a place where it is almost full absorption but very wide focus and everything (sounds, thoughts, physical sensations) are vibrations.

Had what felt like some kind of near-miss last night. Sat 20 minutes and then another 25 minutes then got into bed, things were very vibratory and had some really absorption like quality to the sits. One time i felt like I got sucked up and to the left and was leaning that way. Once I lied down after the sits I was still very concentrated and I just focused on my breath intently, then I don't remember what happened before this but then I got a burst of light in my vision and a bliss wave. I think this repeated once more but I can't remember. Didn't feel like a fruition/cessation like I have had in the past. This morning, I feel pretty normal, I haven't had a chance to sit to see if there is any changes. I feel like it was a near-miss though.

Curious indeed!

"Curious indeed! "

Hah. We shall see. I do feel increased energy which equals increased anxiety for me. Dunno what to make of that...time will tell.

Not sure what is going on. Have more energy but I think it was a near miss. Had a short sit after the virtual sangha last night and it seemed to take longer to get to cutting edge. I need a longer sit today to investigate.

What's your anxiety like post SE, Russell? Mine is less, but still there, and sometimes it can flare up. I can spend as much as several days in a fear state, but I identify it as such, and don't identify *with* it in the same way I used to. Still, it can be damned unpleasant.

It is still there as well here. I don't know if it is less or just a bit more manageable. It seems sometimes I have a bit more distance from it other times I can get back into the old feedback loop. It is really great when I can watch it arise and just notice it for what it is though. Never was able to do that before.

it's a great thing to be able to sit back and see the old psychological habits doing their thing but losing power...