Rod's Practice Journal

Log Update 05/04/2013

Sat on Wednesday night for 1 hour as I got home late from work function and was pretty tired. Got into 4th jhana and noted there. Woke up at 2.45 and noted breath etc for about 40 minutes.

Woke up at 6.00am and meditated till 7.00am. Noted on the way to work on the bus (about 40 mins). Patchy noting through the day.

Noted on the bus on way home. Sat last night for 65 minutes on seize stool then meditated lying down for 60 mins. Good concentration - stayed in jhanas to 'soak' and getting to 4th, was able to attain strong 4th with good concentration for the rest of the sit and noted in 4th.

Woke up at 5.30 and noted till 6.00 then meditated till 7.00am - good concentration in 4th jhana. Rolled over and noticed the mind had tendency to want to stay in 4th.

Noted in bus on the way to work. I think the noting is improving concentration. I have tried to read as much as I can about noting, its benefits and what I should expect to see as a result of doing it as continuously as possible. Some people say it was the technique that helped them through Dark Night and got them quickly to SE whilst others don't have much good to say at all about it. I did find an article in the Theravadan showing translations of the Buddha's teachings which looked pretty much like he was teaching noting. So am interested to see how things go as my technique and frequency increases. Kenneth showed me how to do it - especially detailed noting - I was not overly keen on it or any good at it before but now I am more interested in it as a daily simple practice.

Log Update 06/04/2013

Sat last night for 60 mins and transferred to lying down for about 60 mins (getting sleepy). Woke up at 5.40 and noted for about 40 minutes then jhanas till 7.00am - had to leave early for motorbike service this morning so couldn't keep meditating for as long as I can as is usual on Saturday mornings. During noting I tried to watch all sensations but place my awareness at the centre of my body and dissociate the sensations of pressure, tingling, itching etc from the regions of the body that they were occurring - almost lining them up in my awareness along side thoughts, feelings etc in a linear fashion. This was based on an insight Tom O had in his log about catching the mind when a sensation was noted, as it visualised the part of the body where the sensation was occurring. This was interesting and whilst would take some practice I imagine would be a suitable way to assist the disembedding process?

Reflective notes/internal pondering (Taking Stock): At the moment, practice seems pretty routine - concentration ok on call, mind chatter not too much (definitely reduced from the last few months) even noting which has not been of much interest is looking better and I am enjoying doing it if for no other reason than it is a practice I can do beyond the cushion. Can hold reasonable concentration in or out of jhanas - at least enough to focus on any object for a reasonable period. No great affect or extremes of feelings (even at work). Still can't really detect progress through Nanas (is that necessary?) - when I sit, there are a few seconds of mildly unsettled feelings but then (if not doing jhanas) its all pleasant and increasing levels of concentrations and calmness with the odd thoughts to watch and pass. As always through meditation session there are stages of intense itchy points on the face/nose but they pass.

So this is different territory in that everything seems to have stopped - quite curious. It is prompting more questioning and questioning of that questioning <!-- s:roll: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_rolleyes.gif" alt="" title="Rolling Eyes" /><!-- s:roll: --> that would probably not happen if the fireworks were happening in practice (to Ona's point a few days ago <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> ). I see a need to know what is happening, a location, a reference point (I guess another form of maintaining identity?) So I am watching and analysing the need for me to know, the expectations and hopes etc underlying the feelings of needing to know and the dissatisfaction that underlies that, and the motivations for that dissatisfaction and the bases for those motivations etc. There is clinging, there is a preconceived model (I can see a risk here of having maps in reinforcing that clinging etc) that I am holding on to and expecting to see it proven and evidenced in my practice experience. Underneath that there is a desire to progress to a goal (conditioned behaviour reinforced every day at work and personal life/culture), underneath that there is a desire to awaken (based on a perception of what awakening is of course). Actually, even the way I am perceiving this in a linear hierachy is questionable too <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> . Intellectually I see this, but obviously that is not enough to dissolve it, it seems that I need not to care and if I do care, then understand those reasons for caring and if possible retain only those that motivate continued effort on virtuous practices, and I guess at some point shed those as well. So I guess this will keep me going for another lifetime or 2 <!-- s:lol: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_lol.gif" alt="" title="Laughing" /><!-- s:lol: -->

Log Update 07/04/2013
Good sit last night for 1 hour on seiza stool and then 1 hour lying down. Spent most of the first hour in Vipassana watching breath then noting sensations (without jhana) and then moved into jhana up to 4th and continued from there. Phenomena were increased intensity in itchy points on face through meditation and also a tingling on the external side of my head which as concentration deepened moved up to the crown and front of head. Tingling on forehead between eyes as well. Felt very absorbed and calm. Lying down, continued in 4th Jhana watching flashing in visual field. Focused on flashing and tried to become more absorbed in it - trying to sync my noting speed with it and then 'pushing through' it.

After finishing, went to sleep but woke up a couple of times with sharp itchy points on my face continuing and feeling really buzzy with a subtle energy wave moving from head to toe then back up again continually. It felt like I was still in some Jhana state and was quite pleasant. Woke up at 5.00 and meditated through to 8.00am watching breath then into Jhanas up to 4th. Tingling at crown and buzzy feeling throughout gradually subsiding by end of sit.

Had coffe at shopping mall and noted (silently) using iphone app for a while.

Got a half hour sit in this afternoon - buzzy feeling reduced but crown tingling still there. All pleasant. As per advice - just watched everything.

Log Update 08/04/2013
Last night sat for 40 mins and then lying down for 40 mins. Although relatively short sit I found it easy to concentrate and move through Jhanas into 4th and watch from there. Still feeling a bit buzzy. Woke up at 2.30 and noted for about 30 mins then back to sleep. Woke up at 5.30 and watched breath till 6.20 then jhanas tip 7.30. I got to 4th jhana then focused on watching the breath and holding broad awareness in one place - this resulted in stronger concentration and went deeper in to silence and peace - like a deep dive. Watched the flashing in visual field and noticed the shapes seemed to become more solid as they formed changed and fell back to nothing. I will investigate further. Itchy points on face came but disappeared quickly. Feeling some head and neck pressure today but not significant.

Noted a little through the day. Weather sunny so rode motorbike and noted whilst riding - mostly visual <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) --> . Spasmodic noting through the day

[quote:20gkdxh3]I see a need to know what is happening, a location, a reference point[/quote:20gkdxh3]

I will answer that question with a quote from MCTB:

[quote:20gkdxh3][C]oncentration practices and insight practices tend to have a certain inertia to them. [b:20gkdxh3]If you have recently been trying to get into really stable samatha states, this can make it harder to see things flicker for a while.[/b:20gkdxh3] If you have recently been training hard to see things flicker, it can be hard to get into really stable samatha jhanas.[/quote:20gkdxh3]

That's not to say that samatha practice don't have their merit. But while you practice them intensely, probably many of the phenomena that you'd see along the ñanas are more muffled. So, if you want to see progress, see if you can do more insight and less pure concentration practices for a week or so.


Then, to another point
[quote:20gkdxh3]Intellectually I see this, but obviously that is not enough to dissolve it, it seems that I need not to care and if I do care, then understand those reasons for caring and if possible retain only those that motivate continued effort on virtuous practices, and I guess at some point shed those as well.[/quote:20gkdxh3]

I don't think you need to stop caring about this kind of things. You can care, but gently, and while [b:20gkdxh3]seeing[/b:20gkdxh3] that you care, illuminating the intellectually curious mind with the same vipassana light that illuminates an itch.

Thanks Nick - this raises a big question that puzzles me. Kenneth has talked about in his writings the need for pre-SE folks to really crank up their concentrations skills, citing that the Jhanas and Nanas access the same mental strata and so being able to reach and stay at those strata is key. So my puzzlement is about if its really necassary to 'see' the nanas inorder to pass through them. In other words, if I just keep doing Jhanas and noting in 4th etc, am I still making progress through the nanas even though I cannot experience them. Daniel Ingram does mention that jhanas tend to lubricate the passage through nanas and makes the path easier than for 'dry' vipassana practitioners. So this is my question. If it is true that be having strong concentration and refining jhana practice with noting daily and in 4th jhana will enable equivalent progress through the nanas to SE, then of course I will continue doing that. If however it requires one to actually watch and experience each nana consciously inorder for progress to occur then I will have to change my practice significantly which I am prepared to do of course but just can't find out a reliable answer on this.
Interested in your thoughts on this, or anyone else who has a reliable view on this. Thanks again <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->

Log Update 09/04/2013

Sat last night for 65 Mins then lying down for 40 mins. Worked through jhanas and stabilised in each to 4th. Once in 4th, I watched the breath continuously intensifying concentration and becoming aware of rising energy at the top of my head. Watched the build of a need for something to happen with this energy. This resulted in a strong feeling of lightness of body and a 'need' to 'lift off'. I stayed with this feeling which became a stable state. Then tried to envisage infinite space to see if I would naturally move to the next jhana. This appeared to happen. But the feeling of rising energy was strong. Then a shift occurred and suddenly the energy that was centred at the top of my head flipped down to my navel area and then felt like a pillar up through me. It seemed a more balanced/aligned state to be in. I watched and noted sensations. Transferred to lying down and continued but with stronger emphasis on watching breath and noting sensation.

Woke up at 6.00 and watched breath and noted from 4th jhana till 7.00am

Noted on the bus to and from work. (40 mins each way) - used iPhone app.

I'm not authoritative but here's my take:

Concentration, as in the spiritual faculty, is part and parcel of insight meditation. Concentration, as in the training, is a great support for insight meditation, but is not insight meditation. Absorption (jhana) is embracing the illusion of solidity, whereas insight is trying to debunk it. Both are good and go hand in hand, but they are two separate things. You can crank up your concentration levels massively, while not entering an altered state of consciousness, and that's actually great for vipassana.
Each samatha jhana accesses the same mind stratum as the corresponding vipassana jhana. Ñana-wise, 1J corresponds to 1Ñ, 2J to 4Ñ, 3J to 5Ñ and 4J to 11Ñ. Have a look at the &quot;20 strata of mind&quot; model from the old KFD archives if you haven't done so already.
Going all the way up to 4J in samatha practice and starting noting once up there, is something that I tried to do in my early practice. Back then, 4J was much more accessible to me than the EQ ñana from dry insight, so I used that as a shortcut. I became bored too often, and although profoundly peaceful, those experiences weren't very insightful. Too few, repetitive objects to note, and felt like hitting a dead end. Perhaps I gave up too quickly and there was a shortcut to SE that I didn't see, but it didn't feel right to continue trying that way.

Hi Nick, appreciate your comments here. This point is always confusing - I know about the 20 stage map of Kenneths - my problem is how to use it properly. I am not too keen on experiencing the Dukkha nanas full faced if its not absolutely necessary. I have fairly strong concentration now and have started to split my practice to non/jhana and jhana as I am feeling that I am not progressing much and don't want to stagnate and become unmotivated. I am also noting off cushion as much as I can - this is gradually improving although I still get the feeling I am not doing it properly but will forge on.

Log Update 10/04/2013
Sat last night for 60 minutes then lying down for 60 mins. Concentrated on breath for half of sit watching and noting sensations than felt I was in similar territory to 4th jhana so tried to get into 4th jhana which happened easily. Continued noting sensations in 4th jhana and noted that mind was unusually agitated so noted wandering and kept bringing back. Then moved awareness to infinite space and absorption level increased with very sharp erratic energy darting around and almost at a point where I would lose awareness which seemed like a good thing to focus on. Didn't quite 'black out' but got close. Interesting. Once lying down, I continued this excercise and reached a similar point and noted the darting erratic energy. I then went to sleep.
Woke up at 3.30am and realised that energy in my visual field (closed eyes) was still darting around but this time it was as if I was just catching the end of something all the time. Interesting but not sure what it means - will continue to explore if possible. I watched and it continued till I drifted off again maybe 30 minutes later. I woke up at 6.00 and had short meditation for 30 mins till 6.30 when had to get up for early meeting. Watched breath for this session.

Reflective Note: Concerned that current practice quality is not what it could be. Hard to get clear view on how Jhanas and Vipassana work together in practice other than just splitting practice to half sits in jhanas and half in Vipassana. So started changing practice to this with noting through day as currently doing. Just received copy of Nyanaponika Thera's book 'The Heart of Buddhist Meditation' so will read through this or greater guidance. Strange, I recognise this book from 20 years ago but didn't really appreciate it then. Also received Connected Discourses, Middle Length Discourses and Long Discourses of the Buddha. So although references, will gradually work through these over the rest of my life!

&quot;Rod1&quot; wrote: Thanks Nick - this raises a big question that puzzles me. Kenneth has talked about in his writings the need for pre-SE folks to really crank up their concentrations skills,
===============
A good teacher might tell one student one thing and another student something different according to where they are on the path so what I am about to say might not be right for you. I asked Kenneeth whether I should do jhana work. His response was that my mind has only so much capacity. It would be better for me to use this capacity for 1st, 2nd and 3rd gear work not jhana work.I am pre SE but have lots of meditation experience.

I offer this as something you should consider not something that is necessarily right for you.

jack

Thanks for checking in on my log and appreciate your point Jack. I will discuss with Kenneth next session. I just want to make sure that whatever practice I do is not wasted time or effort.

Log Update 13/04/13

Split sits over the past couple of nights - 60 mins non-jhana and 60 mins (average) jhana - usually lying down. Over the past couple of nights, woke up in the middle of the night and noted sensations, watched breath for about 30 mins each. In the mornings, min 60mins 4th jhana noting. Noting through the day on bus to work and coming home from work - usually 40 mins each. No particularly exceptional phenomenon except noticing generally high level of concentration through the day which results in a very peaceful baseline. Reading 'Heart of Buddhist Meditation' (Thyanopnika Thera) to explore mindfulness in greater detail to improve technique in this area. I also seem to have some skill with jhanas so my intention is to learn more about how to effectively utilise them in progress on the path - Kenneth is definitely helpful here.

Today was a great day for practice - I took a flight. Noted in the taxi on the way to airport (20mins), meditated on the flight to destination, bad weather with 3 landing attempts and 1.5 extra hrs of circling over airport meant a turn back to home airport - so I read 'Heart of Buddhist meditation' on the way back. Noted on the train back from the airport. Met my wife and enjoyed the setting sun of a sunny autumn day at home, walking back together from the station. Really bad day otherwise - but great day for practice and a great opportunity to watch my own response and everyone else's responses to the problems. The whole day was a great comedy between the weather and the incompetance of the airline in handling the problem and passengers who were the casualties (if only Richaerd Branson were there?! ).

Reflective Note: Bit of a ramble (what better thing to do on a Saturday night?!......don't answer that! ) This morning had good session with Kenneth. As I was explaining my experiences and questions from over the past couple of weeks, he brought to my attention a couple of things I said which indicated answers in plain sight. If I reflect on the past 6 months of practice, I realise that prior to that I was typically brimming with churning thoughts and the usual emotional and idea conundrums occupying my mental time. Now I have much lower mental churning, not getting caught in content and can pick and head off speculations of future or wanderings in the past relatively effectively. I am starting to experience how helpful noting is in being able to do this too. Basically, I have much less suffering and states of dissatisfaction than I did before I started practicing. Its quite significantly less as I think about it and Kenneth raised the obvious point that this is the what its all about - right? One of the very reasons I started doing this is actually being fulfilled and I was so intent on achieving it that I am not seeing it occurring. Of course there is a long way to go.
This led me to considering the concept of surrender (often discussed at length in religion such as Christianity in the context of having a 'God' to surrender to - gross description but serves the purpose here) but I could see on a deeper level than intellectually how it ties in with this kind of 'godless' practice in that its all about giving up deluded perceptions etc and trusting the process which is part volitional and part non-volitional, effort to ensure progress and effort to get out of the way (not wanting to offend anyone here in equating God with a process). So getting away from God, I can visualise push-starting a manual car - effort to get to a speed that matches 1st gear, releasing the clutch then letting the engine start and stabilise - crude analogy but anyway. I realised that (and probably like most of my comments in this log, this will seem like the bleeding obvious to a casual reader) this process is not only working to break the fetters that hold the self model perception etc in place but also about actually recognising when they have been loosened or broken - kind of like pinching yourself to check you are not still dreaming. I don't know if I have broken any of the classic fetters described by the Buddha yet but I am sure some have been loosened a little and I need to ensure I see that too because sometimes it is subtle and me being a fine product of modern Western culture, I only equate progress with intentional, obvious effort and corresponding obvious results.

Amen. A few of these nuggets of wisdom hit close to home.

Log Update 14/04 2013

Sat for 40 mins about 30 mins watching breath on dry insight, then 10 mins going up to 4th jhana and mapping the territory around 4th as I find there are a few substates around 4th so wanted to determine boundaries between them. Transferred to lying down and continued for 60 mins. Worked on blockage I had identified in my head that appeared to be limiting energy release out of the crown. Had worked on this with Kenneth and continued watching the blockage and characterising it, then scanning through the rest of body for corresponding tensions - relaxed all sections as I progressed. This appeared to reduce the solidity of the blockage but I was tired and will need to continue next time. Woke up at 1.20am feeling like II had slept 8 hours. Noted breath for about 30 mins and feel asleep. Woke up at 5.20 and noted breath and all sensations for about 30 mins then for 2 hours worked through jhanas up to 4th and continued to map territory. Whilst trying to 'visualise' infinite space to return to test if I was getting into 5th or just sub-sets of 4th, I felt that practicing metta would be a good idea as it had a common approach in as much as it 'visualises' sending loving kindness to all beings in all realms so felt that it was appropriate to do this (I know, not very disciplined) and so finished off doing that.

Walked to shops and did shopping - noted walking using iphone app (1.5 hours round trip) interspersing walking sensation of each foot with other sensory stimuli as they arose. It occurred to me how amazing the mind is being able to manage so many different operations simultaneously as I tried to multiple note stimulii occurring at once or in very close succession. I had to dispense with noting method and move to awareness of sensations as micro touch points inorder to consciously cope. Hard and requires alot of practice I imagine.

Also working on what I call 'micro-happiness/contentment' which I guess has similarities to AF and HAIETMOBA but its a way of enjoying and dropping. I love nature - and when I walk through the neighbourhood, I really feel uplifted by seeing trees and gardens and just generally ..well...nature - especially on beautiful sunny days - but anytime - even at night. I have noted this and whilst have not got to the bottom of the reasons for this, I see benefit in enjoying things for what they are so have devised a way to do so that supports happiness and aids investigation - I enjoy these things as they are and let them pass at that moment - thus the name micro-happiness. It also enables me to analyse these snapshots as isolated samples rather than mixed in the normal 'soup' of experiences - kind of like specimens in a petrie dish I guess. I have extended this to relationships and beyond but it really shines as a practice when I am walking through natural environments etc. Seems to enable me to steal a little more peace, happiness and insight from an object whilst noting before consciously dropping it. Maybe one day, it will help me to realise happiness in all experiences? Just my version of probably well defined techniques - not sure but, whatever. I realise its still dualistic and I guess at some point will be shed as well or combined.

This afternoon spent time reading about how to integrate Jhana practice and insight meditation and read the following:
* 'One Tool Among Many - The Place of Vipassana in Buddhist Practice': Thanissaro Bhikkhu
* 'The Jhanas' Stephen Snyder &amp; Tina Rasmusson
* 'Reinterpreting the Jhanas' Roderick Bucknell
* 'The Jhanas in Theravada Buddhist Meditation' Mahathera Henepola Gunaratana
* 'Should We Come Out of Jhana to Practice Vipassana?' Bhante Gunaratana

It could be a life study of course but next stop is to read what the Buddha said. There are a range of interpretations of what they are and how they can be used. Gunaratana himself seems to have changed his view from one favouring out of jhana insight to a later essay on why it is imperative to stay in Jhanas to do Vipassana. For my part - I just want to confirm a reasonable approach. As Shoshin stated, its a very old dispute and whilst interesting and involving becoming familiar with alot of historical/cultural context around key texts and authors such as Visuddhimagga, Vimutthimagga and the Pali canon etc, interesting nonetheless, don't want to spend too much time on it - practice is more important at this stage

Sounds like good progress as evidenced off the cushion. Interested to know what Kenneth's take is on where you are on the maps <!-- s:) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_smile.gif" alt="" title="Smile" /><!-- s:) -->

Nice mixture of techniques you have out there. Although I'm not convinced they're effective when mixed up in real time, like noting and your micro-happiness practice. E.g., if you drive yourself to enjoy this moment rather than dispassionately noting it, that's also something you can note. I think a technique is effective when you commit totally to it for a set period of time (15 minutes, 2 years, whatever)

Jhana is a very overloaded word. It can mean many things:
- Visuddhimagga absorption (total, can't do insight from within it)
- A softer samadhi altered state from which you can do insight (Gunaratana seems to use this definition)
- A bunch of vipassana ñanas put together (many authors seem to implicitly use this one)
- The stability of concentration that enables you to do vipassana, without implying it's an altered state of consciousness
...so it's a very slippery business trying to read texts and make changes to one's own practice based on an author's opinion on something called jhana. I think they are a good support, but the personal experience of vipassana with varying degrees of absorption and momentary concentration is far superior.

Log Update 16/04/2012

Sunday night sat for 60 mins then 60 mins lying down. Sitting was doing jhanas and exploring states 'beyond'? 4th. Trying to see the components of the jhanas and isolate them individually - noting and watching. Lying down, tried to do no-action meditation just watching breath and seeing what happened. Naturally dropped into 2nd jhana and went on from there drifting in and out of jhanas especially in 4th. It was an interesting exercise - noting throughout but hard not to fall asleep. Since meditation is usually first thing in the morning or last in the evening - there is always the struggle with sleep. Also noticing stronger periods of intense itching spots on face and now in other parts of body too during meditation.

Monday morning woke up at 4.30 and watched breath for about 30 mins then meditated till 6.30. Went to 4th jhana and noted. Sporadic noting through the day although am getting better at it during work. Monday night sat for 50 mins then lying down for 60 mins. woke up at 2.30 and noted for about 20 mins then back asleep. Woke up at 5.00am noting breath for about 30 mins then meditated - fell asleep in the middle and had weird dream then woke up continuing in 4th jhana. Strange.

Noted on bus on the way to work (about 40 mins), then had meeting all morning and noted through most of it (about 2.5 hours) which was interesting watching emotional responses etc to comments. Noted in bus on the way home (about 30 mins). These are sessions using the iphone app and are usually continuous. I am also trying to note throughout the day except when doing work that actually demands most attention and effort. Noting is getting easier and concentration level is increasing from it I suspect. Also noticed that at times in the middle of a noting session, I am getting fairly intense itchy spots on my face, neck and head similar to when I meditate. Not sure what this means, if anything. Actually not really sure what the itching means anyway. Can be irritating (noted ) I am also interested in where all this noting may lead - it is supposed to dissembed so not sure how that plays out in experience. Sometimes need to be careful with noting that its not an automatic, unaware process as I think it becomes meaningless if this is the case. Reading through the Nyanaponika There book (Heart of Buddhist Meditation) he suggests that if done diligently, then over time the insights will present themselves, so I am looking forward to this. He talks about bare sensate noting - I am doing that but also mixing it up with 'verdana' as well (pleasant, unpleasant, neutral) notes as well. At this stage, I don't feel anything happening but I would expect alot more time and effort is required. So on I go. I would be keen to learn of anyone else's experiences with noting and effects experienced from it.

Thanks Nick, appreciate your comments here. I would also be interested in Kenneth's take on where I am although I think he is watching and reserving judgement for the moment <!-- s;) --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_wink.gif" alt="" title="Wink" /><!-- s;) -->

Yes the micro-happiness is a bit of a work in progress and is really devised to try and incorporate that part of my daily experience into practice in a positive and beneficial way. Increasingly I am noting, and my enjoyment of nature etc is included in that. The selective happiness is more practicing enjoying in the moment and letting go straight away but may be redundant if the impact of habitual noting kicks in - not sure what that impact would be but noting seems to be a very effective practice.

Jhanas are strange for me - I always have been able to get into them, can call them up anytime so am trying to develop a good way to utilise them without making them the main point of practice. Whilst I can get very absorbed in a jhana if I really focus on it, I have chosen not to since it can negate any observation or insight practice. So jhanas in my experience are softer and more pragmatically experienced. I think it would be a waste if I was not able to use them to aid practice. <!-- s:zen: --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/levitation.gif" alt=":zen:" title="Zen" /><!-- s:zen: -->

Log Update 19/04/2013

Travelling for work since Wednesday so unable to log. Summary of practice over the past 3 days:
Wednesday - Morning woke up at 5.00 and noted for 30 mins then moved into Jhanas until 6.30. Stabilised what I think is 5th jhana as a distinctly different state from 4th and attempted noting from there, which was possible although since the object is infinite space, the noting is around thoughts/feelings/perceptions of that, and also of things that are other than infinite space. I purposely don't try to get into really hard jhanas so noting in 4th and this new jhana (5?) is possible - although not much happens in them. So I am shifting practice balance more towards insight - particularly through increasing daily practice where possible.

Took a flight for 1.5 hours and was able to meditate for most of the flight which was really useful - I noticed that it was almost as possible to get into all Jhanas I currently have access to whilst on the flight than when in silence at home. When not meditating, I noted.

Wednesday night had pretty upset stomach and realised the really fishy tasting fish I had 2 mouthfuls of before discarding at the airport for lunch, was the culprit. I was tired but managed to meditate for about 30 minutes before having a disturbed sleep due to an increasingly sick feeling. I noted these feelings, and noted my desire to try and ignore them and avoid them, noted the sensations and my aversion to them, my growing headache and tiredness. Did get some sleep. In the morning, meditated for about 30 minutes before having to get up and prepare for day of meetings. Tried to watch the food poisoning play out in my body, and watched how I felt about it. It was interesting to find that even though it was really unpleasant whilst being the central participant in meetings and at the same time feeling pretty sick, it did not deeply bother me as it might have done in the past. I wasn't throwing up but all the other 'features' of food poisoning were there. Meetings concluded successfully, and back to airport - meditated on plane as best as I could - jhanas still available, and served as a good refuge from discomfort - however I did continue to note the discomfort and my reactions to it. Noted in Taxi on the way home (45 mins)

Last night, arrived home, shower and straight to bed - meditated lying down, but made no effort to get into jhanas, although they arose, just floated in and out, watching and noting thoughts - mostly remembering the past couple of days, planning, questioning, etc. Slept all night. This morning, meditated for 60 mins watching breath, noting both in and out of jhanas. Not particularly well directed practice whilst feeling ill - just realised it was an opportunity to watch and note in the hope of gaining insights and dis-embedding.

Log Update 21/04/2013

Yesterday, lots of noting both at home and walking - tried fast noting but need better skill to do it routinely. Last night sat for 60 mins and about 60 mins lying down. Tried breathing technique based on technique developed by Ajaan Lee Dhammadharo - whilst it was a first attempt, it definitely improved concentration. Noted whilst in 4th jhana and stabilised 5th. Slept through till 6.00am and tried same breathing technique then 4th jhana and noting till 8.30.
Today was mostly working, but tried to note as much as possible and contemplating comments from Chris and Ona throughout the day.

Coming week is alot of travel so will continue to note and meditate as much and where possible (hotels are actually pretty good), but logging may not be as frequent. Mum's having difficult time at present so until I can physically assist, will be building metta into practice.

Log Update 23/04/2013

Sunday night sat for 65 mins and meditated for 40 mins lying down. I tried different breathing technique again. Very effective for concentration. Went to 4th jhana where i watched and noted. I watched closely the effect that sounds had on my body and watched for thoughts and corresponding tension in the body. I started to see some tensions occur as thought streams flowed and also patterns in field of view intensified. When I heard a sound I found that my mind was trying to identify it's source by creating a picture of it. Additionally I noticed that when there was a sensation in my body, there was always a mental picture of its location. This would appear to concur with what Tom has noticed. I woke up at 2.20 am and watched breath for about 20 mins then noted thoughts and sensations. Since all else was quite it was good to watch thoughts and identify any effects - I noticed tensions resulting from scenario thoughts, planning thoughts and remembering thoughts. Some were groups of tensions that built up until noticed then consciously released them. Others were individual tensions.

Yesterday morning woke up at 5.00 and watched breath, and noted from 4th jhana till 6.00am. Last night in hotel after long company dinner running late. Meditated for 50 mins lying down. Agitated mind which was hard to note. Went to jhanas to quieten down, spent some time in 4th then went to sleep. Not a very productive session. Woke up at 6.00 and meditated lying down till 7.00. Mostly watched breath and noted with jhanas arising. Had headache all day (not hangover - no alcohol at last nights dinner). Noting as much as possible.

Log Update 26/04/2013

Travelling for business this week. Normally travel is ok for practice - noting in taxis, meditating on plane, quiet hotel good for meditating. First day was 60 mins morning and 70 mins evening lying down both sessions were going through jhanas to 4 and noting sensations. thoughts etc in 4th. Noting wherever possible in the day. In the last couple of days, I came down with the flu which made practice pretty hard. Not sure if it was fever or the medication but meditation was hard with jumpy energy going everywhere, hard to concentrate and very agitated and distracted. Couldn't sleep so listened to Hamilton Project podcasts which were interesting and helpful on noting particularly. I noted the symptoms in seeing straight sensations and the mind's perception of them which seemed to package them into the 'sickness called the flu'.

So noting and contemplation were the focus over the past couple of days. Being sick seemed to make this easier as I tended to not care as much and let go more and just watch things around me. I am questioning sensations, behaviours as much as possible, inorder to try to see beyond assumptions - it seems that so much is knitted together to make solid things by assumptions. I noticed also that noting now is getting more like a lock on to something in that second of noting - so its almost like a freeze frame for each sensation noted, whereas before it was a pretty vague connection the noting and the noted. Now they are more connected.

Reflective Note: Still highly motivated, practice is now normal life. Actually, at the moment, more progress appears to be occurring off the cushion than on it. Perplexed at the difficulty in penetrating beyond intellectual understanding but I guess will come with time.

Beautiful.

On this:
[quote:3g49a5h5]... more progress appears to be occurring off the cushion than on it[/quote:3g49a5h5]
I'm a bit curious, can you give some examples?

Hi Nick,
Well I am really re-evaluating my practice at the moment. So things have changed - I used to focus very much on sitting and jhana development and concentration development. That has been helpful. Now, I am really hitting noting hard and focussing on right view, right effort and what that is in daily practice. My noting skill has improved - its more mindful than it was. Like I said in the log - its now mindful snapshots rather than a loosely associated note with phenomena. I am also getting a tiny sliver of a sense about the non-solidity of things. Its very recent and just a hint (at 'knowing' level rather than intellectually). Its just starting to emerge and seems to be associated with the more time I spend noting things - but of course I am still pretty fevery from flu so it may be associated with that too <!-- s:? --><img src="{SMILIES_PATH}/icon_e_confused.gif" alt="" title="Confused" /><!-- s:? --> . I am also being more aware of my sense of confusion/perplexity and what that means, how to use it etc. I still do jhana practice since I think it helps with concentration ability and keeps alot of emotional/thought noise at bay. So sitting, there is less focus on insights at this stage. I think the central difficulty here is knowing how to combine Vipassana and Shamata effectively. I do note in 4th jhana but it doesn't seem very effective yet. Sorry for the ramble.

Log Update 28/04/13

Saturday morning lying meditation for 60 mins - still with flu - concentration was difficult - so as I was drifting around jhanas, I noted as many sensations as possible. Sat in the early afternoon for 70 mins and was more concentrated getting to 4th jhana and noting sensations there. Last night meditated for about 60 mins sitting then tried to meditate lying down but medication took me out for the night. Also tried to walk during the day yesterday and noted steps all through. Whilst noting I started to get the tiniest sliver of idea that things are just forms reflecting light and made of lots of little bits. I saw just a little how if my identification with objects was not there, they would be just jumble of forms.
Feeling a little better this morning, meditated for about 1 hour after waking up but too congested to continue and similarly, noted whilst drifting into weak jhanas. Another wonderful sunny day, so walked to shops and back to clear lungs and sinuses, noting steps all the way and got quite concentrated. Walking speed was slow to normal, however difficult to note more than one note per step due to speed even though I could detect at least 3 different actions to each step, not including leg movements - just hard to note it all rather than general awareness and using iphone app to tap out notes. So next weekend, weather permitting, will go to sport field up the street and try slower walking meditation.
Approach now is just watching and having faith that things will unfold with diligent practice and time.