Arran Retreat Reports: April 2011 - Audio Trancripts

Well, the retreat was a great experience and I got a lot of clarity and insight into, in particular, the three characteristics, the nature of duality and mahamudra. I've got some video clips of notes which I need to edit and produce properly, but I also recorded some audio notes while walking along the beach and after sits so here's some transcripts:

"I'm currently standing on a small section of pier, where the tide is coming in and it's breaking on either side. What interests me is how this is like a metaphor for perception, I can see one huge wave coming in but as soon as it hits this divider, this thing which was put there by man, it splits into two then it's perceived as being two seperate waves when really it's exactly the same wave. It's only seperated by perception. As I stand and watch the tide come in I can see that the wave is exactly the same as the ocean it comes from. As they come down and split on this false, dualistic, man-made "thing" which breaks them down the middle I consider how interesting an image this is for reality itself, for perception itself, for the cause of suffering.

If we could only see that every single wave is part of the same ocean, no matter which direction it comes from, how warm, how cold, no matter which aspect of duality is manifest through this, or more accurately which aspect of duality we intepret from it, it's all the same. The wave is still the ocean, it could split into a million waves but it's still the ocean, we're just seeing it from a different place."

That was particularly profound at the time and really left me stunned at the simplicity of it. More to follow.....

"At present, all there is is the present...so long as I'm sitting here, well, this body is sitting here at least, there's only this moment.....I rose up through the jhanas right up to what I believe was the 8th jhana, whether or not I progressed into the PL jhanas I don't know, I'll try that later on, but there's certainly a strong afterglow to wherever I've been and on opening my eyes, everything seems really fresh and clean, just really pure and things just "are". I don't need to label them unless I choose to, and if I sit with the sensations themselves ...they come and go. So...where are we? Do we need to know? Do we need to care? No. Everything's o.k....noting a bit of tension which goes away, the sweetness of the breath...it goes away too"

If you were to listen to the audio of this, I sound like I'm really, really stoned but I'd only been doing concentration practice! Ha! Jhanic pleasure, indeed!

"Well it's 0647 and I've just been sitting on the beach doing what was more like shikantaza than vipassana, just being precisely aware of what arises and passes rather than noting, and had a few interesting insights again. I notice that when I'm watching the waves and the ocean, seeing the birds fly by and how this is like the way the mind works.

If a bird flies past then you can watch it, and then you can let your eyes follow it, leave your attention on it and it'll stay in the field of vision for as long as it takes until it vanishes from sight or you can sit and see it just present itself to the visual field and vanish. The same thing happens with sensation, they're there, but the more you pay attention to them, the longer they'll seem to last when, really, the only thing which keeps them going is your own consciousness of them, or that conscious "carry over" of a thought or emotion which you then allow to continue when, really, it can't unless you allow it to because it's already been and gone. The second you realize you've perceived something it's already gone.

For example, right now I'm walking as I talk and taking individual steps, but I could pay attention to that and create a stream of continuity otherwise it's just a series of transient, ownerless and unconnected movements of lifting, placing, pressure, intention and so on."

This seems kinda disjointed but hopefully the general idea comes across.

"There's a part of us which sees the wave as being seperate from the ocean it's being carried by, and I suppose the ocean is like the life continuum. No matter where you look you'll never find the end of the ocean, because it's continual, it surrounds and contains everything, it's not fixed in any one place. We name different areas of it but none of these things are the ocean itself, just like "the map is not the territory" shows.

So where does that leave us? It leaves me with the overwhelming impression that things are becoming much clearer, perceptually, I'm finding that as emotions arise and pass they can't have any impact because there's no self for them to impact on and, only if I pay attention to them for any longer than the split second they're there, can they have any sort of existence because they're transient and impersonal.

The breath really is the most perfect and simple way of seeing these things play out yet we don't pay attention to it for long enough to see it!"

"So I sat at the beach and did some vipassana, and noticed that I could feel the dukkha ñanas particularly clearly especially the nausea during "Disgust". I also noticed how the ñanas seem to correspond to different areas of the body, for example the A&P begins down in the groin area, very sexual energies at the base chakra, but as I move into the dukkha ñanas it feels like "Fear", "Misery" and "Disgust" are felt between the hara point and the solar plexus, that gut-level fear followed by the clenching of misery in the abdomen which is followed by that "I'm gonna throw up" feeling (I also get a lot of mouth watering, as if I'm going to be sick, happening if I call this ñana up by itself to examine it) at the top of the stomach. "Desire for Deliverance" feels like trying to escape through the solar plexus area, I get a sort of desperation and tension here which, on moving into "Re-Observation", moves up into the chest and shoulders and feels and heavy, but more irritating and chaotic and a sense of tension in the throat. "Equanimity" feels like it's moving up the neck and top of the head with a lot of tingling at the crown area happening just before a fruition.

I noticed a quick "bump, bump, bump" fruition earlier which was similar to the "violent frution" I mentioned on KFD before. I had resolved to review previous path frutions and clearly saw 1st and 2nd as being identical to what I remember from the moments when they happened but I'm still skeptical about having gotten 3rd path. That fruition was distinctive in that it was quite severe, almost disturbing but I want to wait until I can confirm this once and for all."

(Cont)

(Cont)

"What I also noticed is that, after moving into Equanimity, when I look at the ground and, if I incline my mind towards Equanimity just now, it starts to move as it it's rising and falling at will. I'd noticed it out on the sand earlier, and I'd noticed it before but didn't think it was associated with 11th ñana. I actually thought it was more of a 5th ñana side-effect but I'm fairly sure it's not, the feeling-tone noted fits with the 11th ñana as did the sense of an all-inclusive sense-field but I stand to be corrected on this. I see the 5th ñana as being more bodily and pleasant, the tingling and movement on the arms and legs in particular as if the boundary of the body is breaking down before shifting into 6th ñana and getting that gut-level fear.

Moving into 11th ñana, the energies move up into the head. There's a lot of movement and flickering in the peripheral vision going on, but there's a sense of having the background and foreground all as one. As I sit here, there's not a clear sense of the "I", even if I shift into the no-dog....hang on...(Breathing for a few seconds before my voice tone changes completely to an emotionless, almost hypnotized sounding detachment)...right, we're in the no-dog and even here there's just pure subjectivity with no centre point to it...let me just come back out of that.....(Deep breath and a shift to a more awake sounding tone)...So.... (laughing)..back out of the no-dog and I'm starting to wonder if I'm just fooling myself here...(laughing)...I'm seeing that the ñanas really do appear in the order we're taught about, and that there really are sort of "trademarks" in each one which seem pretty universal."

(Cont)

(Cont)

"Another things which has become quite clear on this retreat has been the concept of vibrations, I remember Daniel Ingram describing them as possibly showing up like a pointillism painting in motion and that's what showed up clearly today when I watched the harsh and irritating vibrations during the 10th ñana, chaotic and intense, noisy and horrid vibrations that sit right in front of you."

Note ends.

These notes here are just the ones I recorded verbally, there's other notes which I'll post over the next few days as I sift through the video files but hopefully they'll be of some interest in the meantime. Please, please, please correct me if I'm going horribly wrong here with my interpretations, they're just notes and I would appreciate it if anyone sees anything which stands out as reeking of utter bulls*it. Ha!

Thanks for reading!

Hi Tommy,
Thanks for posting this. Its truly inspiring.

Were you doing this retreat by yourself? where were you staying?

Cheers Yadid! I was over on the Isle of Arran, a small island just off the West coast of Scotland, by myself for three days in a wee cottage which belongs to my friends parents. Like a lot of people on here, I'm a householder, a father and a partner so I don't have the time or the money to go off on extended retreats, so doing something like this is the closest I can get at the moment.

It was a wonderful experience and I'd recommend it to anyone, if only for the opportunity to be able to be 100% with what's going on at a sensate level with no distractions. Thanks again mate!

Good reports. The thread keeps reminding me of the Arran Malt.

www.arranwhisky.com/

Ha! They're based at Lochranza, which is a really beautiful part of the island, although I was 'round the other side at Whiting Bay which has a really nice wee brewery near it. Typical Scotland, two booze factories and about 30 pubs on a tiny island....Ha! Glad you like the reports : )

I particularly liked your description of vibrations.

Have a look at this:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOLuaPltorA and this
(in this one toward the end he talks about what happens when he takes his glasses off "now I am in total pixelated flow).

Basically it talks about tuning into that quality in vision, hearing and body feel and just letting it be there (the grainyness). I had some real fun with this on Friday.