Introducing myself

Hello all,

I have been lurking here for a couple of weeks trying to figure out what this place is all about. I figured I've gotten to the point where it would be nice to participate more, so I would like to offer a brief introduction.

I have been practicing some form of Buddhism off and on since 1991 (I am 43). I started in what would best be called a Zen tradition, though the Master in question borrowed techniques from a number of traditions, including some Theravadan and Vajrayana. I did some long retreats in the mid-90's, a couple for 2 weeks and then one for a month. At the end of the long 4 week retreat, I was declared to have attained something, though frankly it all seemed to fade within weeks and I was back to my old self. To make a long story short, I stayed at that practice center until around the year 2000, at which point I became uncomfortable with the increasingly cult like atmosphere and left, at some personal and emotional cost.

From there I spent some time searching for new teachers, read widely in different traditions, discovered Tolle before he was cool, but eventually fell away from practice and lived a very worldly life for a while. Worldly living led to marriage to a wonderful women with an interest in Eastern spiritual traditions. Over the last few years we have gradually introduced more Buddhism back into ours, began regular morning sits (nothing heroic, 20-30 miutes x day). Most of my practice background would be what I think Kenneth would call "Third gear," with much sitting focused on being very open, "just sit" style. But within the past 6 months I have gotten more interested in Theravadan practice, discovered Buddhits Geeks, Dan Ingram, and after getting turned in by his book, but then totally turned off by his embrace of PCEs, I found my way here.

With all that said, I confess that I am still learning the language and culture of this site. I am excited by the idea to getting feedback from people who are clearly deeply committed to practice. I am not yet sure my goals are perfectly in synch with everyone here, because my main interest is very pragmatic - I want to live a happier life. That is, as I heard Shinzen Young say, subjectively happier internally (less anxious, less depressed, less angery) and objectively more effective externally (a better partner, family member, and citizen of the world). I see my practice as serving those goals and it is the filter by which I judge its effectiveness. At this point, I am not clear on whether the ability to master the Jhanas or accomplish all 4 paths is necessary to that end, and I note that Kenneth's remarks on Buddhist Geeks that he continued to suffer depression long after he had attained various paths makes me ask why I would bother (though I am happy to be convinced it's the only way). I would love to hear more about people's views on such things as I begin to participate here. I hope to start a practice journal soon, though I have a busy professional job and some time consuming family and personal committments, so adding one more thing seems daunting, but I sense that is the best way to get feedback, so I would like to carve out time soon.

With that I think I will end this post. If there is more people would like to know about me, or things that are customarilly included in such introductions, please let me know and I would be happy to fill in the details.

Peace,

RobW

Rob, Welcome.
My initial goals sound very similar to yours. What happened to me is that I quickly got hooked on the practice. I'm very new to all this, but have found this site and the many experienced yogis to be very helpful. If you want to live a happier life, I personally think you've come to a place where you can be helped with that.

I can certainly attest to how much better my own life has gotten. Far less closed off to life and various experiences and my anxiety issues are severely attenuated. I am much more intimate with my experience and my partner is very happy with the changes I've undergone.

Welcome!

I hope you get everything you are looking for.

Best of luck.

Welcome, Rob. I must say I felt a twinge of camaraderie in reading your introductory note and especially your remark that you would like to be "subjectively happier internally (less anxious, less depressed, less angry) and objectively more effective externally (a better partner, family member, and citizen of the world)"; this is a sentiment I resonate with. In fact, all of those things are precisely what can be expected from enlightenment... and enlightenment is precisely what we advocate here, along with the means and support for attaining it. So... I'm glad to have you on board and look forward to reading your online journal.

Kenneth

Welcome Rob!

No doubt everyone has the goals you describe when they engage in a practice (whether they admit it or not!). I can tell you that I've definitely met some of those goals here (my wife can attest to that).

I wish you all the best in your pursuit of a better life - I hope you find it here!

Ron