Josh's Practice Journal

"I notice some stable states of mind, and my mind kind of takes a rest in these states. I notice I am resting in the pleasantness and disembed from the absorbed state." ["Disembed from the absorbed state" is jargon you don't need to use. Just tell us what happened in simple language.]

"This sort of practice continues for about 2 weeks, just kind of fluctuating between noting unpleasant icky, misery, and anxious types of sensations and states of mind." [OK, not bad.]

"I really get the vipassana energy flowing when I start noting states of mind. it really seems to disembed." [Here again, words like "vipassana energy" and "disembed" can mean different things to different people. You can avoid that kind of jargon entirely and stick to simple, concise descriptions of what happened.]

Here is an example of a clear report, from Nadav's Practice Notes:

"This morning I sat for 45 minutes. I felt relaxed and determined.
Noted some itching... a specific point below my left eye that was persistent in one of yesterday's sits too.
Lots of visual remembering thoughts, and planning thoughts.
Some pulsations in the arm and very subtle tingling all over the back. I focused on the breath for a bit and caught myself absorbed in thoughts/stories. I noted thoughts and then the other 3 foundations of mindfulness separately for a few minutes.
Noted some judging thoughts about my practice / desire for progress.
Some slight vibrations in the hands. Tension going up and down my back. Itching.
The itching disappeared and for a while there was very little body activity, but the mind was very active. I realized that I was worried about this and searching for body sensations (noted as 'searching')."

[Please follow this format, Josh. Otherwise, we can't help you.]

On a 5 day water fast, currently on day 2, with some slightly unpleasant detox stuff happening, though it isnt bothering me nearly as much as fasts in the past, my mind kind of feels the body ache/head ache, and then it kind of slips away after noting it a bit and my mind returns to spaciousness, peaceful.

I have just been noting informally off the cushion mostly. It starts off with alot of tingling running up and down the spine, little expansive rushes on the back of the head, tension, release of tension, tickle feeling in the back, tension/concentration feeling in the front of the head.
It develops into some strong constant background tension, anxious type feeling in the head.. like my mind is holding onto something painful and I cant let it go. I notice some squirmy, unsettling feelings in the back, a very very subtle sense of fear, dipping back into energetic stuff in the spine, mostly pleasant tingling. Ill float in the energetic stuff, noting rapture, expansion in the mind, concentration increasing, spinning sensation in the head, subtle whrring sound in general space around me. After a while I feel the unpleasant tension in my forehead, and begin looking at it with more enthusiasm. I feel a sense of the tension being released, openness, expansion, a slight upward shift towards the crown, pleasant tingling at the crown, fine vibrations running all over the body, pleasant ease.
So ive pretty much been going through the same stuff, no repeat of any fruition, noting frustration...My practice will hopefully be a bit more stable and clear when I hit day 3 of the water fast as ill be in ketosis, and Ill do long formal sits to see if I can get deeper into this pleasant/peaceful stage.
I noting mostly pleasant vibrations running all over my body and tingling in the spine, subtle vibrations like if you were in the same room as a washing machine and the floor is vibrating really fast. My mind feels spacious right now. More later

Oh wow yesterday was very uncomfortable.

I ended up going into to town with my mom, and didnt have an oppurtunity to do my morning meditation. I ended going to my mom's violin lesson with her, so I took that hour to note, mostly with my eyes open (I found I kept getting absorbed into different pleasant states with my eyes closed).

I was on day 3 of my water fast, and felt very miserable while sitting during the lesson. I noted sensations of painful tension in my forehead, extremelly uncomfortable squirmy sensation in my back and spine (like I just wanted to get up and shake the energy out), heavy anxious feeling near my crown and the back of the head. Noting all of this unpleasantness developed into some mild rapture type sensations, more of a slightly opening, slightly more spaciousness between the unpleasantness.

I kept up the noting, sometimes dipping into slight release from the tension, and squirmyness, but I would sit into the release, open, pleasantness for a few seconds and immediately fall back into unpleasantness, each time the squirmy feeling got stornger. I eventually had to take a break, and do silent mantra to help ground me a bit. I was feeling super tense, very irritable, and noted a constant primordial anger, whether this was from my noting, or from outside conditions with my mother... idk..

I continued to try and note the unpleasantness, and would dip into open spaciousness and ease for a bit, trying to continue noting the open spaciousness, but would always fall back.

I stayed in unpleasant stage for the rest of the day, and ended up breaking my fast early and going for a run to help lower my cortisol (stress hormone) a bit. This was an excellent decision! I felt a nice endorphins high, and I was able to look at the constnat tensions more clearly. I was noting while my step sister got into town, connecting with my parents at dinner. I just sat there noting most of the time. cont...

cont...

I got into a really solid open spacious, pleasant ease state, where noting was effortless, felt like my awareness was resting near the crown, maybe slightly below like an inch, a ball of vibrating pleasant peace was there.

I began noting the bliss, ease, tingly crown sensations, and eventually a flowing of fine vibrations running through my body, very pleasant. I was just enjoying the absorbtion a bit, and dropped noting. Pretty much for the rest of the night I did mantra and played with the absorption.

I fell asleep feeling very peaceful, compared to earlier in the day, and woke up with my mind feeling very open, no tension at all.

I had very vivid dreams last night, I could write a movie from these dreams. I do remember one dream where i was meditating, or atleast noting in the dream, but I dont remember what transpired.... anyways I feel like in a similar stage today, that I was in a few weeks ago when I had the fruition. I am really anxious to kind of see my meditation get past the unpleasantness and pleasantness, and possibly repeat whatever happened then... Im pretty sure I have not had any repeat events like that saturday.

Noting joyful ease, I am to play yoga, OM!

Hi Josh,
I like your thread, you seem like a dedicated yogi.
May I ask what is the purpose of your fast?

well I follow a diet, called 80/10/10, its all fresh fruits and vegetables... Ive found this to be the healthiest diet, which gives me the most clarity and sense of freedom in my body... clears the energy channels.. over all it makes doing this whole enlightenment thing alot easier... Problem is ive been at home for the holidays in my parents house... eating heavy cooked food that is making me feel crappy and slow minded... not so good for when you are cycling through dark night stuff... So the fast is to reset my sense of clarity, detox the food ive been eating since ive been home... as im preparing to leave for the Hawaiian Islands again where I will have easy access to fresh organic fruits and vegetables, which has been more difficult on the Mainland...

I highly suggest to anyone on this site, if they want to kick their practice into perfect ease (even the dark Night stuff while on this diet seems like a blip of unpleasantness, compared to the constant sense of suffering that I get when im eating cooked food) :
30bananasaday.com ... based on the 80/10/10 book by Doug Graham... Also having a regular yoga, running and exercise routine helps keep the energy channels clear, maintains an overall sense of well being... Also being completely celibate gives more clarity, but some can play that game and others cant depending on their relationship situation... anyways I should have added more detail about that earllier on as a big big part of my meditation is that diet...

I might as well add my other tricks: essential oils, like rose otto/absolute, frankiscence, and sandalwood applied to the pulse points before meditation gives you a sense of clarity and deepens concentration... doing mantra through out the day when not noting develops concentration and really blisses you out...I enjoy using crystals, like selenite and rose quartz for doing metta meditation...

I pretty much use all the tools in the tool box to get this thing done with as little strain or effort as possible :0... I like the take from Hinduism that all of the various asanas and breath work and all that makes the Path to Enlightenment completely pleasant, no noticeable dark night, just an ever increasing peace...

"all that makes the Path to Enlightenment completely pleasant, no noticeable dark night, just an ever increasing peace..."

Josh, if you find a way to get enlightened that is "completely pleasant, no noticeable dark night and an ever increasing peace", please let the rest of us know, because I haven't heard of a person who claimed his path to enlightenment never included any pain. It seems to be part of the process, but I'm open to suggestions.

i should say that your mind so energetic clear, from living a very pure lifestyle, that you can navigate through the dark stuff with ease... You are able to skillfully, precisely and accurately look at the dark stuff when you do encounter it, that you breeze right through it with out a flinch... im headed back to hawaii in a few weeks, geting back into living in nature, getting plenty of sun light, eating only organic fresh fruits and vegetables, doing yoga and breath work each morning before meditation... Ill report my experience then

I resolve to knock this whole thing out within a few months! OM Namah Shivaya

Formal Resolutiions for 2011:

-Maintain Low Fat Raw Vegan for 365 Days
-Meditate everyday to get the Thing done
-Play yoga atleast an hour each day
-Get Sun Everyday!
-Attain 4th Path

Happy New Years Everyone! Love you

"I resolve to knock this whole thing out within a few months! OM Namah Shivaya"

Hi Josh,

One of my goals has been to normalize enlightenment. I'd like to help people understand that there is a kind of deep sanity that can be discovered in this lifetime by people willing to dedicate themselves to that end. I've tried to bring enlightenment out of the world of make believe and into our daily lives.

But there is a dark side to all this normalization, and that is that the pendulum can swing all the way to the other side. When that happens, enlightenment is thought of as trivial, the kind of thing you can knock off in a weekend.

Neither of these extremes is accurate; enlightenment is not make-believe nor is it trivial. You don't have to wait until your next lifetime to be free from suffering, but neither are you going to get enlightened in a couple of months or even a couple of years. It's going to take decades. Are you signed up for that? You don't have to postpone gratification, because there is a seemingly infinite number of mind-blowing experiences all along the way, beginning with the first distant glimpses of something that may someday blossom into deep wisdom. But whatever you think enlightenment is at this point is not what enlightenment is.

I would be irresponsible if I didn't point out to you that this is not an easy gig. Settle down and enjoy the process because you are going to be here for awhile.

Are you indicating that attaining 4th Path in the Theravada 4- Path Model within a number of months is not possible Kenneth? I also dont equate 4th Path with "Full" Enlightenment, I just want the insight disease to finish itself off.

I am in no hurry, just enthusiastic

You might have to get out of your own way first, Josh. Take it easy. You'll get there. But don't put a time limit on it. It may not happen and then what?

Many yogis took years to get from stream entry to 4th path. Some 6 months. It may or may not take you the same. All the same keep on trooping. Your strong determination is admirable and will get you far. Just be wary of taking it to extremes. It's a middle path after all.

Check this thread out to see what could happen by putting a time limit on these things:

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/42...efore+January+1+2011

I'm confident I can get it done sooner rather than later

I have my secret weapon of purity, I wish to expound how powerful living a pure lifestyle is like, I equate it to living like a monk. Living in purity brings a sublime peace and clarity that is completely outside of the vipassana practice.

Eating only fresh, whole fruits, and vegetables, living in a tropical environment (meant for humans me thinks), getting exposure to sun which influences serotonin (our waking neurotransmitter, active mind!), breathing fresh air (not recirculated low oxygen air like indoors), being surrounded by plants and trees (they hold a vibration that resonates at what is called the Om/Ohm frequency, feels nice), clearing the energy channels by running and doing yoga (your mind is as young as your spine according to the yogis), living a karmically positive life of planting fruit trees and living eco-sustainably, being surrounded by other conscious beings (sangha)...

Follow right speech (saying only soothing things to the ears), right livlihood, right action, right resolve... these are key elements the buddha also taught... they dont just come after enlightenment, they are constantly necessary, and they make the Path effortless... I could almost say you just have to sit back and relax and let it happen on its own :0... which I think most of us will agree on.

I cant advocate how a fruitarian diet helps ,

Om mani Padme Hum


p.s. I should start thread on this topic as I feel very passionate about it, and I dont feel alot of people here understands how living in nature impacts your practice, living with nature, living by nature, etc

Good luck Josh, and keep us posted.
What I find helpful in my own practice when I find that I am obsessing about future attainment is to notice that this is the only moment I've got to live, and I'm destroying it for myself by being lost in fantasies about how enlightened I'd like to become. "Whatever is here now, is the door to the door to the door.".
Also, nowadays I like to think of practice as losing more and more shiite, rather than gaining stuff, and that actually helps in my sittings as well.

I may be talking out of my arse as Nick often says, so take with a pinch of salt

"Are you indicating that attaining 4th Path in the Theravada 4- Path Model within a number of months is not possible Kenneth?" -roboto212

It depends on which 4 Path model you use, of course. By the technical model, where 3rd Path is defined as the ability to attain Nirodha Samapatti and/or any of the suddhavasa (Pure Land) jhanas, and 4th Path is getting off the ride, there is some reason to believe that it can be done in just a few years. In other words, I have a few students who believe they have done so and they may be right. If they have indeed accomplished this so quickly, they are rare and gifted yogis; it would be best not to develop expectations based on anomalies. Most people take between 15 and 25 years or so to get to what I call 4th Path, assuming they get there at all, which of course most people do not.

As for 4th Path by the ten fetters model, that is an entirely different kettle of fish. To hope to get there in just a few years would be like hoping to win the lottery. You can't count on it, so it's much wiser to patiently work toward your goal, understanding that if you do attain it after 20 or 30 years you will still feel like the luckiest man alive.

A related thread is here:

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/thread/44...2enlightenment%22%3F