Kundun's practice notes

Hello fellow practitioners! I started to explore the Vipassana system too. My previous education on the meditative works includes zen meditation, yoga and qi gong. I also worked many years with the 12-step program quite intensively and I think that included many things that have helped me with the meditative practices too.

I did my first practice with Kenneth's instructions last night. What it added to my practice was a rather quick feedback-loop to the patterns of thinking that often emerge. In zazen I haven't been instructed to look at the phenomena but rather just focus the concentration to the focus points that are used in that. After I modified my practice last summer a bit it went to a direction that had less points of focus - kind of like shikantaza. Last night I immediately saw that the labeling provides ground to know whether you are focused in the concentration or drifting in the thought-patterns.

I continued this practice also this morning while cycling to work and it really helped me to caught myself in the usual patterns of thought that I slip into.

Actually this practice reminds me a lot of the practice I did before I started my meditation career. I followed instructions of the Oxford Group (the group where 12-steps got it's beginning) where one observes her thoughts without judgement and writes the thought-stream down as it is, without any modifications. I did that practice quite intensively for awhile and I suspect it was one of the reasons for an awakening experience I had back then. That experience was a beginning of my spiritual path as it inspired me to study the old wisdom that can be found from the rich religious traditions of our times. Anyway, that writing practice felt a lot like the the labeling practice of vipassana. The difference seems to be mostly on the way where the thought-stream writing tends to develop to mini-narratives where the cause-effect links are also revealed.

Hey Kundun,

Glad to have you aboard. Noting is indeed a strong practice, I am sure you will get a lot of benefit from it. I am in a 12 step program as well... this practice has defiantly helped my spiritual development a lot, and this website is a great resource... Best of luck

Best of luck, Kundun. I look forward to hearing more about your practice as it evolves!

Some experiences to share: I have been doing the 1st gear practice daily, sometimes sitting, sometimes in daily activities. What I have noticed is that I have been less bound to embed myself in thoughts that lead to stress, anger etc. (I haven't really observed if there has been also less enthusiasm, joy etc.)

I have done 1st gear practice for a while while sitting and then moved to 2nd gear. Sitting and looking at the one that sits and looks. I think that the 1st gear has helped to have more focus on the 2nd gear instead of slipping into day-dreaming. And while day-dreaming has happened it has been little bit easier to be aware of that when it finally stops.

1st gear in daily activities has been helpful mostly by cutting of the thought processes that leads to undesirable mind states. I have really understood how mindfulness practices are used to help f.ex. prevent depression on patients.

I have been doing that 2nd gear practice for few years but in general I think that adding the 1st gear has helped me to get more focus on the 2nd gear practice and also more peacefulness in daily activities..

During this morning sitting I recognized two things:

1) I don't want to label the feelings, thoughts etc. Noticing them is ok, but it seems to put unnecessary thought processes on when I have to search for sufficient label for those things. So I decided not to use the labels. The assignment of negative - neutral-positive is much easier as you don't really have to give that label to "know" the nature of the phenomena. I mean that when I notice something, e.g. some feeling it is very subtle thing to also notice whether it is pleasant or not at the same time.

2) In some point of the sitting I went to this mind state where you kind of seem to "move backwards/deeper inside". At the same time it feels like you are shrinking and going inwards and also at the same time you kind of expand. Hard to put in words. But anyway I realized that this is something that I visit from time to time and nowadays bit more often that before. This is also something that I remember visiting pretty often as a child. It always happened spontaneously and at some point of the phenomenon I got bit frightened and got out of it. Nowadays I don't fear it anymore..

Anybody had similar experiences?

Current practice:

I went back to the labeling. Although there are more thinking processes involved, it still seems to be worth it - actually I now find it interesting to figure out labels for the different feelings, thought processes etc. Actually I have now done less of the second gear practice as the first gear seems to be more interesting for me..

I have been replacing most of my other practices to the labeling. However, the "eye practice" is still bit confusing to me. I'm not sure what is "vibrating enough" mindstate to switch to it. On the other hand, it's just empirical study with no hurry to "improve".

I've been moving along with my practices. I think that what I have been doing for the last year or so is some kind of integration of the vipassana practice with koans. I guess the Hua-Tou comes pretty close too. In Kenneth's terms it is simply some kind of moving between the 1st & 2nd gear. (Of the 3rd gear I'm not so sure about what is means in practice.)

So what I do is that I find the concentration point with counting the breath or labeling practice and when it feels stable enough I move to the "witness" - in simple words I put the attention itself as the focus point. If I fall from there I continue the 1st gear practices and then when the focus is stable enough I go to the "witness" again.

The Hua-Tou part here is that whenever I'm on the "witness" I question "who is" at the same time that I watch it. I also tend to do that questioning in the 1st gear, although it doesn't feel so intense there.

Last weekend I was in a retreat environment and noticed how the hearing was amplified. In a 2nd gear I have been able to note my attention quite easily in the visual sense, but now I noticed it clearly on the hearing too.

The same phenomenon was noticeable last night when I was riding a bike. I could notice my attention on the hearing better than before.

This relates to the 1st gear too, as in the labeling I have often found myself labeling not just bodily sensations in "feeling" but also some visual and audible sensations. It is quite interesting to notice that the location information is so tightly coupled with the sensation.

I've found myself doing more and more shikantaza-type of practice. Just sitting without any goals. In subtle level there has been perhaps one goal that is to observe what is happening in the moment (and the few moments before that) whenever the consciousness becomes conscious of the experience.

Perhaps this is 3rd gear practice in Kenneth's terms.

Whatever gear or not-gear it is or isn't, it seems like this is the practice I have been wanting to do straight from the beginning when I started meditation 8 years ago. But there has always been teachers giving me different kinds of practices and I have always been wanting to have those practices in order to achieve the some goals (like enlightenmen, peace of mind, etc). I haven't had that urge for more than a year, but the old momentum has still kept me continuing acting like I had it.

Well, right now I don't have it.

Still doing the "just sitting" practice. I'm getting more and more to the Springwater Center -style of meditative inquiry. And at the same time I'm losing more and more interest to "achieve" something with the meditation practice.