Roots: Kenneth's Letter to Daniel, 1995

Several people have expressed curiosity about my relationship with Daniel Ingram. I've know Daniel since 1988, when I moved from Los Angeles to Chapel Hill, North Carolina to play in an R&B band. I turned 30 years old that summer, and was having an early mid-life crisis, burnt-out with my life as a professional musician and disillusioned with the Los Angeles music scene. The cross-country move gave me a much-needed change of scenery. Daniel Ingram was an eighteen-year-old college freshman at the time, and the sound man for the band I joined in Chapel Hill. We quickly became friends, eventually sharing a rented house and often staying up until the wee hours of the morning discussing philosophy and spirituality. We have remained friends through the years in spite of a couple of rocky periods during which we disagreed about dharma.

I think of Daniel as my best friend and he was best man at my wedding last year. The reason he did not mention my name in his book is that I forbade him to do so, a decision I now regret not only for the hurt it caused him but also because it muddied the waters of his dharma story.

In 1995, I wrote Daniel a 14-page letter introducing him to the Theravada Buddhist map of the 16 Insight Knowledges and offering advice about retreats, enlightenment, and integrating meditative insight into daily life. Daniel later scanned the handwritten letter into digital form and mailed it to me on a CD-rom. You can find links to download the letter here:

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Root...er+to+Daniel%2C+1995

Kenneth, it takes courage to post personal material like that. I want first to recognize that and thank you for doing it. It's very interesting reading!

- Chris

Hi Kenneth

Thanks for posting this, it was a very interesting insight into the history of your and Daniel's practice. Reading this and seeing the additional context, I think there is a need for for hardcore dharma books which combine techniques for obtaining insight with a concrete explanation of how it has fitted into real human lives.

Craig

I am deeply touched with the forthrightness about your relationship with Daniel. The letter was quite personal in nature. Its abundantly apparent human interaction conveys a sense of deep connection, even through these electrical wires and displays.

Thank you for your efforts to share the dharma.
May all who come in contact with this benefit infinitely.

Metta,
Andrew

"The reason {Daniel} did not mention my name in his book is that I forbade him to do so, a decision I now regret not only for the hurt it caused him but also because it muddied the waters of his dharma story."

Ah, that explains why some passages you have posted on this site also appears in MCTB, although with Daniel as first person singular instead of you. Sweet!

Cheers,
Klaus

thank u Kenneth for giving that letter out- very warm and informative also.lena

I very much appreciated that letter and what support Kenneth has given me over the years in various ways.

However, there is much to the story that is untold, much complexity, much history, much baggage, way beyond what is hinted at here.

The problem is that it is all such dirty laundry that I wonder what good comes from airing it.

However, there should be some balance, accurate history presented that provides the real and necessary counterbalance to the impression that I am simply Kenneth's "dharma protégé" as he puts it.

Finding that balance of accuracy, disclosure, discretion, compassion, emotional honesty and tact that would fill out the details is not easy. Perhaps I will work with Kenneth to come to some more complete version of the story that we both think is worth putting out there and will do more good than harm.

Daniel,

IMHO, if you have something to say, just say it. Readers will decide on it being a counter balance. I am guessing you feel the need to consult Kenneth because you would like to deal with his response before you tell it as "it is" .

So now we have a teaser, you are not just Kenneth's "dharma protégé" . The fact that it has taken 5 months for you to respond here, suggests that Kenneth had the confidence to not consult you. I am suggesting, you would be best to follow his lead.

Kenneth and I just had a long and wonderful conversation about all this and are going to try to work to promote understanding, kindness and wisdom by living it as best we can. In this particular case, we both agree that practical, pragmatic, supportive, constructive and collaborative work to help people progress in insight and the like as well as spread the enjoyment of friends supporting each other in the dharma.

"Kenneth and I just had a long and wonderful conversation about all this and are going to try to work to promote understanding, kindness and wisdom by living it as best we can. In this particular case, we both agree that practical, pragmatic, supportive, constructive and collaborative work to help people progress in insight and the like as well as spread the enjoyment of friends supporting each other in the dharma."

Great! This sounds really great... and of good benefit to all those involved directly as well as indirectly.

"Kenneth and I just had a long and wonderful conversation about all this and are going to try to work to promote understanding, kindness and wisdom by living it as best we can. In this particular case, we both agree that practical, pragmatic, supportive, constructive and collaborative work to help people progress in insight and the like as well as spread the enjoyment of friends supporting each other in the dharma."

Forgive me if this is intrusive or inappropriate, but ... here's to mending fences and renewing invaluable friendships and aliances. You both have so much to offer and are so gracious in sharing your knowledge and experience and I thank you both for your dedication and sense of duty to those of us who are trudging our way upon the Path.

Vive les differences!

I agree with the sentiments perviously expressed, but this is kind of sounding like an international negotiation. ("Can we entertain the Dalai Lama at the White House? What will China do?") Preconditions and sensitivities abound! Please, both of you, do not make this an artificial thing. To be honest, I'm hard pressed to see how any harm can come to any of us third parties by the telling of your story. It's been clear all along that you two have differences, some public, some private. The differences seem to spill over onto these message boards once in a while, so if there's good to come of telling your joint story maybe it's in the ending of that process

Oddly enough, I only just read this hand-written letter thinking that, previously, this thread was about the "Letter to a friend". Duh.

Anyhow, I would like to ask the following questions of Kenneth, in an open way as I presume others might get some value out of the answers too.

First, knowing what you know now (and since the cutting edge of your teaching seems to be diverging from what appears in the letter) how would you summarize the changes to the advice you gave to Daniel, if you were to send an "errata" or "addendum" to this letter?

Your first gear message now is about "disembed", whereas what I took away from your instructions to Daniel were more along the lines of getting in synch with the natural frequencies that you observe during vipassana to get to a cessation moment. The latter actually makes more sense to me, and I was wondering (if I am reading this correctly) why the change in emphasis?

I was really intrigued by your post-SE guidance, particularly the part about keeping at fruitions until you can do them at will. You don't seem to stress that anymore, and I think I recall you actually saying that on-demand fruitions was more of a higher-path thing. Can you please clarify that?

It would be really awesome if you gave a good primer on resolutions: how to make them effectively, when to make them, and what types of resolutions work well?

Those are the biggies for me.

Hi,

I tried to download the .pdf File, but I get an error message (I guess that the file is no longer available).

Could you please upload the file again?

Thanks in advance,

mautelino

Thanks for the heads-up, Mautelino. Vincent Horn of BuddhistGeeks.com has been hosting the file as a favor to me, and he and I had a great talk today... so he might be amenable to a little arm-twisting; I'll see if I can get him to make it available again. I'll update here soon...

some mirrors:
www.mediafire.com/?65o799fqlgavg51
ifile.it/817qvs4

Thanks a lot for posting the mirrors!

Definitely this letter is a piece of history! Thanks for sharing this Kenneth!

Thanks for the hosting the file, Ciocoiu! I posted your links on the Roots: Kenneth's Letter to Ingram page:

kennethfolkdharma.wetpaint.com/page/Root...er+to+Daniel%2C+1995