Not beating myself up for being proud
14 years 3 weeks ago #4794
by Jackson
Replied by Jackson on topic Not beating myself up for being proud
The funny thing is that while pride is (usually) an habitual egoic pattern, so is the criticizing, blaming voice that arises in response!
I think an important aspect of the path is regularly introducing new skillful patterns in response to old unskillful ones. The automatic, reactive responses that arises are never new. The very fact that they arise in this way shows that they are old, and that they were learned and practiced in the path.
In a sense, all thinking is remembering. We learn language first in a interpersonal context, where it is spoken out loud between two or more individuals. Then, in early-mid childhood, we begin using intrapersonal speech (talking to ourselves), and we do so out loud, not in our heads. Only later do we begin to talk to ourselves privately by remembering the sounds the words make when spoken aloud. (I sometimes wonder if this one of the contributing factors for "hearing" thoughts at the location of our heads; for, that's where we most closely hear our voices when we speak aloud.)
So, when we use private speech - whether deliberately or not - it is largely a form of recollection. Interesting, right?
We can't really stop old memories from arising, but we can begin to introduce new habits of body, speech, and mind that eventually assert more influence over our conduct and experience than the old ones do.
I think you're on the right track in your response to the arising of pride. The first step is not "beat yourself up" for the arising of a memory. That just makes us more neurotic than is necessary. There are some other things you can do, though, that may help. I mentioned Taking and Sending in another post here. You could apply it in a creative way to this process. When pride arises, first just acknowledge it (no need to put yourself down; it isn't helpful). Next, use that moment as an opportunity to offer something beneficial for the benefit of others. Determine what it is you are proud about: is it health, intelligence, skill in meditation, etc? Whatever the beneficial quality is, mentally and emotionally offer it away to all who would benefit from it. Than, not only are you practicing non-reactivity, but you're also practicing generosity, which is a wholesome (i.e. non-egoic) mental quality that will only help you on the path.
It's just an idea. If it doesn't sound good, drop it and keep doing what you're doing
I think an important aspect of the path is regularly introducing new skillful patterns in response to old unskillful ones. The automatic, reactive responses that arises are never new. The very fact that they arise in this way shows that they are old, and that they were learned and practiced in the path.
In a sense, all thinking is remembering. We learn language first in a interpersonal context, where it is spoken out loud between two or more individuals. Then, in early-mid childhood, we begin using intrapersonal speech (talking to ourselves), and we do so out loud, not in our heads. Only later do we begin to talk to ourselves privately by remembering the sounds the words make when spoken aloud. (I sometimes wonder if this one of the contributing factors for "hearing" thoughts at the location of our heads; for, that's where we most closely hear our voices when we speak aloud.)
So, when we use private speech - whether deliberately or not - it is largely a form of recollection. Interesting, right?
We can't really stop old memories from arising, but we can begin to introduce new habits of body, speech, and mind that eventually assert more influence over our conduct and experience than the old ones do.
I think you're on the right track in your response to the arising of pride. The first step is not "beat yourself up" for the arising of a memory. That just makes us more neurotic than is necessary. There are some other things you can do, though, that may help. I mentioned Taking and Sending in another post here. You could apply it in a creative way to this process. When pride arises, first just acknowledge it (no need to put yourself down; it isn't helpful). Next, use that moment as an opportunity to offer something beneficial for the benefit of others. Determine what it is you are proud about: is it health, intelligence, skill in meditation, etc? Whatever the beneficial quality is, mentally and emotionally offer it away to all who would benefit from it. Than, not only are you practicing non-reactivity, but you're also practicing generosity, which is a wholesome (i.e. non-egoic) mental quality that will only help you on the path.
It's just an idea. If it doesn't sound good, drop it and keep doing what you're doing
